


A Lightened Soul

by SapphireSassenach



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-29 01:44:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6353920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSassenach/pseuds/SapphireSassenach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"anonymous asked:<br/>I would love to see you write some modern Claire and Jamie:)!" This is my version of what a modern Jamie and Claire would look like with Claire as an overwhelmed medical student and Jamie there to lend a helping hand. Multi-part series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been turning around modern Jamie and Claire in my head for awhile now and this is what I came up with. This will be a new series of ficlets featuring our modern couple. I would love feedback and prompts for this series, so by all means let me know what you think! Enjoy :)

“Damn, damn, damn!”

I pulled my blouse away from my body as the scalding hot coffee dripped down my stomach, burning my skin every drop of the way. Frantically, I tried to blotting out the stain from the white cashmere with some leftover napkins.

No one was around to hear my grievances as the office was void of any people at this late hour. I dropped my head onto the desk in exhaustion. It was too much. I felt like pulling my hair out from the roots and screaming into the void.

My tired shoulders slumped as the dead air of the office threatened to choke the life out of me.

Searching for air and space to fill up my constricted lungs, I got up from my small desk and took the elevator up to the roof of the building.

I took the first deep, expanding breath of fresh air that I had had in hours as I took a step from the stairs and onto the rooftop. Stuck inside my one-room flat studying for medical school and then trapped inside this useless secretary job in order to pay for it, meant most of my days were spent inside stuffy, confining rooms.

My feet took me over to the edge of the building, gazing at the lights of London, fluttering brightly in the darkness.

I rested my elbows on the edge and let my head fall into my arms as unwelcome tears began to flow down my face.

Instead of frustratingly wiping them away as usual, I let them flow down my face in rivers. It was a day when everything seems to be all too much. Morning filled to the brim with medical terms and procedures that I haven’t learned. Afternoon and nights filled with preparing documents and organizing finals. And late nights filled with more studying as the pile of bills that lie on the counter haunted me with numbers I couldn’t pay.

The small dark hours where I stared up at my ceiling, counting my losses as one counts sheep. My parents taken from me so early. My uncle’s death. My failed marriage.

My shoulder dropped as I continued to weep, my tears falling down the building into the empty streets below.

“Excuse me, lass?”

I jumped at the sudden deep, Scottish voice coming a few feet behind me.

Turning my head, I saw a tall man with fiery red hair and the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen looking at me with concern.

Quickly, I attempted to composed my face and wiped my eyes on my sleeve, noting with displeasure the dark smudges from my mascara.

“I’m sorry. I thought…I didn’t realize anyone else was up here.”

He smiled tentatively at me, a strange soft look of sympathy emanating from his eyes into mine. 

“I come up here sometimes to clear my head. It’s peaceful, ye ken?”

He tentatively took a few steps closer to me, careful not to move too fast. I should have been more alarmed, perhaps, that this strange man was approaching me on a darkened roof, where there wasn’t another soul who could hear us. Oddly, I felt an overwhelming feeling of safety, as if this man could save my mind from falling off the edge of the abyss it was teetering on.

“My name is Jamie,” he said as his soft face turned upward into a kind smile and slowly reached his hand out for mine.

I stared at him, not comprehending his concern, until a light blub went off in my head and I realized what this must have looked like to him. A woman weeping on the edge of a high building at night must have appeared quite alarming to any observer.

“Oh, I wasn’t going to…” I waved my hand towards to edge, “I wasn’t thinking about jumping, I just needed air,” my voice breaking as I stammered to feebly explain and treacherous tears began to flow down my face once more.

I sniffled and turned my head away from him, to hide my pain from this kind stranger.

He quickly came up behind me and put his strong arm firmly around my shoulders and brought me into his embrace, tucking my head under his chin as he pet my hair in a soothing manner.

My first instinct was to pull away from him, but he was warm against the chill of the night and he beat the loneliness away with his beautiful eyes. Instead, I tuned into him and wrapped my hands around him tightly. For once in my life, relying on the kindness and compassion of a stranger.

My body melted into his, as if he was lifting the invisible burdens I was carrying off my exhausted shoulders and onto his own. He cradled me against him, speaking in quiet, comforting mummers of an unfamiliar language into my hair.

We stood like that, locked into each other, for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality for no more than a few minutes. But in those brief few minutes, I felt like I wasn’t alone in the world anymore and that was enough.

Slowly, I came back to myself and pulled my head away from his almost fever warm chest, immediately feeling the icy wind and mourned for the warmth.

I rubbed my hand on my eyes hard, trying to wipe the embarrassment away. “I, well I…thank you,” I mumbled into my hands. “You’re a kind man.”

He pulled my hands away from my eyes and ensnared his vibrant gaze into mine, looking at me with an unfamiliar twinkle in his eyes.

I lost myself so completely into that liquid blue stare and with my heart pounding in my eyes, I almost didn’t catch his response.

“Tis’ nothing to fret, lass,” he said soothingly as he brushed a stray strand of hair from the corner of my eye. “Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on once in a while.”

He reached out and took my hand into his large, pleasantly rough grasp.

“Come now.”

And compelled by some force that was unknown to me, I let him pull me forward.


	2. Chapter 2

I clutched the warm cup of tea in front of me, gliding my fingers along the raised flower design of the side of the cup, letting my fingers thaw from the chilled air outside.

The bright lights of the tiny diner made everything seem more immediate and present, especially the man sitting across from me at the booth. His red hair gleaming as radiant as the core of the sun against the lights.

I felt heat rise to my cheeks as his eyes lingered on my face as the waitress filled his coffee mug, her body angled into him as she tried to gain his attention. Her nails were vibrant pink and she smacked on a piece of gum loudly. Altogether, I found her to be most unpleasant.

“Thank you,” his soft voice murmured as she finished pouring, but he never glanced at her.

I smiled and looked down, swirling the little spoon in my cup. I cleared my throat as I reached for the honey.

“You didn’t have to take me for tea to make sure I didn’t off myself,” I said, cheeks continuing to blaze under his gaze as I squeezed a dollop into my cup. “I was just trying to clear my head and the air up there is much fresher than the streets of London.”

He chuckled, eye crinkling in amusement as he picked up his mug. “I believe you,” he reached across the table and patted my hand lightly, nevertheless sending shivers up my spine. “You don’t have to keep trying to convince me you not suicidal.”

I glanced up from my tea at this, watching him as he took a large gulp of coffee.

“You seem like a strong lass. And I asked ye here because I wanted to keep talking to ye.”

To my horror, I felt the heat burn even more on my face and my chest.

He gripped my hand harder, stroking my little finger. His voice dropped lower and softer as he continued.

“But tell me, why is a bonnie lass like you so sad?”

I looked down at our hands, twining together like a lock and key. I ran my thumb across his palm, shaking my head at the madness of it all. A man come into my life so suddenly, yet when I needed someone the most.

I forced tears back down as I shook my head slightly.

“I was just overwhelmed,” I said quietly in a small voice. “I’m in medical school and working all the time, and not to mention the studying and…”

The words seemed to pour out of me like a lost stream, desperate to find somewhere to lay its burdens. I told him everything, this stranger. I told him of my pains and hardships, my grief and my loneliness.

And all the while, he held my hand and didn’t say much but the occasional soft, comforting words of an unknown language.

He let me talk. He let me vent. He gave me an outlet to pour all of my frustrations into and when I finished, I felt like I weighed a stone less from my confessions.

“I’m so sorry,” I half laughed and waved my hand, self-consciously. “I’ve been talking for an hour.”

“I like the sound of your voice, never fret,” he smiled, eyes twinkling.

I smiled back and took a gulp from my now cold tea. He moved his hand away from mine and I mourned the loss almost instantly.

“We’re closing,” a high-pitched voice with annoyance in their tone spoke, starling us both.

I briefly looked down at my watch for the first time since I laid eyes on Jamie.

“Jesus H. Christ! Its nearly midnight!” I gathered my things quickly, stopping to fumble in my purse for a few coins to pay.

“I got it, Claire,” Jamie said, handing the forlorn waitress a few crumpled pounds.

We both stood up and his hand went to my lower back as we walked out of the small diner and into the darkened street, a great contrast to the florescent lighting inside. The world suddenly felt much smaller and much more intimate.

Jamie reached out and grabbed my hand, moving his free hand to cup my cheek. His eyes closed briefly and I took the opportunity to stare at his beautiful red lips that were begging me to kiss them.

His eyes fluttered open and he leaned his forehead against mine while taking a deep breath as I stood frozen, locked by his eyes.

“I dinna know why it is we met, or how it is that I care for ye after so little time together, but from my experience, everyday is a gift and there is no such time for not saying how ye feel.”

He licked his lips before continuing. “I dinna want ye to be alone and I don’t want to be alone anymore either. I think maybe we were meant to meet tonight on that roof top, mo nighean donn.”

My breath caught in my throat at his admission. He eyes lingered on mine, hesitant and nervous, awaiting my response.

Not knowing what to say and equally aware of my inability to say what lay in my heart, I simply moved my free hand to the back of his neck while taking a step closer to him, feeling the soft red hair against my fingers and tugged his neck down so we were nose to nose.

I noticed a small scar on the side of his mouth and had the sudden desire to know everything about that scar and everything about this man. But right now all I wanted was to feel his lips against mine.

I saw him glance down at my own lips and that was all the incentive I needed to be bold. I moved to my tip toes and pressed my lips against his soft and malleable mouth. 

The warmth of his lips made me shiver and I lost myself in his breath. I moved my other hand to twine around his neck as his moved around my back as we sank into each other.

A blunt force broke us apart as a man in a trench coat pushed passed us on the sidewalk, powerwalking until he disappeared down a dark street. Jamie cursed him under his breath.

I turned around and looked back up at Jamie. We both stared at each other, at a loss for words until we started to giggle at the absurdity of it all.

He chuckled and put his arm around me tightly.

“Alright then, mo nighean donn, where do ye live?”


	3. Chapter 3

The key rattled in my sweaty palm as I tried to jiggle the lock into place, grunting as I pushed up and finally felt the lock obey and click open the door.

 

I turned a bit back to Jamie standing behind me in the darkened hall way and shrugged self-consciously towards him.

 

“Faulty lock,” I smiled and was greeted with his warm, friendly face in the dimness.

 

I tentatively walked a few steps into my tiny flat and flicked on my lamp, trying not to look at him as he walked in the door and saw the condition of the small space that I had been inhabiting for the last year.

 

I quickly moved to throw the dirty clothes lying on the floor into the laundry bin and throwing the medical textbooks littered open across my bed onto my desk, pushed into the corner of the room.

 

Clearing my throat, I looked over to him from the corner of my eye and sat down on the very edge of the bed, back as straight as a rod.

 

“Sorry for the mess and the overall claustrophobia of the room.”

 

I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked down as he walked the few steps to sit down next to me, the door closing behind him, enclosing us together. Bringing his hands up, he brought my curls, wild from the walk outside, to fan out in front of my face, cascading in brown swirls between us.

 

The corner of his mouth turned up as he ran his hands down the shape, all the way to the small of my back.

 

“Dinna fash, mo nieghean donn,” he said quietly as he looked over me.

 

I lost my breath again at the look on his face. Sitting there in the quietness of the room, street noise drowned out by the emotions pausing between us, it felt we were alone in the world.

 

“So, you’re from Scotland, I presume?”

 

“Aye,” he said with a thicker Scottish burr. “Born and raised.”

 

I chuckled at this as I became more conformable and started to relax. “And do your parents still live there?”

 

Jamie’s smile faded as he looked down at his hands on his lap. “Ah, no. They’ve passed.”

 

Something inside of me twisted painfully at the sadness on his face and ached to ease it as quickly as possible.

 

I reached out and grabbed his hand tightly in mine, smoothing his knuckles.

 

“I’m so sorry. But I know what it’s like and I know that doesn’t mean much when people say it.”

 

I smiled tightly and my other hand floated by some force to his knee, rubbing in soothing circles. “So, I’ll just say I understand. The loss of unconditional love is…well it’s tragic.”

 

A deep sigh left his chest and he brought his hand to lay on top of mine on his knee.

 

“Aye. My mother died when I was small, but my father died not but a year ago.”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “That’s why I moved to London. I just…I had to get away.”

 

I nodded in understanding, silently letting him know I was here to listen if he wanted me to.

 

“My sister, Jenny, she still lives in our family’s estate. We havena spoken,” he voice dropped to a whisper, “we havena spoken since he died.”

 

Scooting closer to him, I leaned my head on his shoulder, trying to echo the support he’s shown me.

 

“Tell me about it,” I urged softly.

 

He lay his head on top of my own and I could feel he wasn’t in the room anymore, but seeing the darkened memories that haunted him.

 

“I’ve always had a temper, ken? But it was wicked one night in November last year. My father and I butted heads a lot, though it usually ended with us forgiving each other with a wee dram at the end of the night.”

 

His voice got thicker as his speech progressed.

 

“I was in the the army for a few years, and I had just gotten done with my service,” his eyes squinted at the darkness outside the window. “My father runs,” he stopped suddenly. He swallowed and had to control his face for a moment.

 

I brushed the corner of his eye where a tear hadn’t quite fallen.

 

“Ran,” he finally spoke in a quiet voice, “our small farm and his own small whiskey distillery.”

 

His eyes squeezed shut tightly and I understood that his was the first he had spoken this to anyone, the pain in his voice was fresh and his face struggled to remain impassive to the memories that fluttered behind his eyes.

 

“And I was to take it over. Well, it was a night we got in a wicked argument. He though I wasna ready to have the responsibility and it set me off.”

 

“Jenny had told him she’s seen me gambled a fortune on cards at our local pub and that I was too reckless to run a business yet.”

 

He shook is head slightly at glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “I like to gamble a wee bit here and there, but I only bet a lot when I ken I will win. I’m no reckless.”

 

I rubbed his back in gentle circles, soothing his concerns that I was judging him. “I’m sure you’re not,” I whispered to him.

 

He let out a deep sighed and squinted back out the window. “I yelled things at him I would have never said in usual circumstances.” He turned to me again, looking for some sort of reassurance.

 

“It just,” he waved his free hand in the air, “when everything gets under yer skin and ye finally explode.”

 

His eyes turned glassy as I saw the moonlight reflect in his eyes. “I couldn’t fit back into my life there after the army. I felt empty and I counda find my footing yet.”

 

He nodded to himself. “I got in such a temper, I stormed out in the pissing rain and took the car and drove until I could calm myself.”

 

He sighed and clutched my hand harder and I felt the bones rub together.

 

“I drove until my eyes were too tired to stay open, so I pulled over to have a wee rest before going back.” A few escaped tears ran down his cheeks, glimmering like crystals.

 

“I must have fallen asleep and when I woke it was almost dawn,” his voice was barley audible now as he continued.

 

“When I finally got home, my father wasn’t home and Jenny told me he’s been out looking for me all night,” his whole body started to shake with sobs and I threw my arms around him.

 

“Shhh,” I mumbled as I stroked his hair and clutched him hard to me.

 

“It was only a few hours later the police showed up to the house, sayin’ that he’d skidded on ice and lost control of his car.”

 

“Oh, Jamie,” I whispered.

 

“He died on impact ye see,” his thick voice stuttered out. “And it’s my fault. He died because of me and my foolishness. I left home so I could to escape the guilt. I havena spoken to Jenny because she blames me, I ken she does.”

 

He leaned his head into my shoulder as he began to lose control of his emotions, letting his vulnerability known to my heart.

 

I held him tightly in my arms as he cried into my blouse, stained with the coffee I had spilled only hours earlier but what felt like an eternity. In those few short hours, I had met this man. A compassionate man.

 

A vulnerable man, who obviously came with demons of his own and demons he wasn’t afraid to show me. I held onto him with all my strength, this virtual stranger. Yet somehow, I felt closer to him than to anyone ever in my life, including my ex-husband.

 

We sat there for an unknown amount of time. With him in my arms, burdened with the pain of the past dripping down his face and me with the knowledge that I had something more than extraordinary in my arms.

 

At some time, when the moon was high in the sky, casting to the room in a dreamlike lighting, we found ourselves wrapped around each other reclined on the bed. Nose to nose, hands twined and legs ensnared.

 

He whispered something under his breath in Gaelic before his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing grew slow and quiet.

 

My heart warmed at the sight of his slumbering, peaceful face, clear of any of the past’s pain.

 

I settled myself against him and closed my eyes and dreamed of red hair, and strong arms wrapped around me, squeezing sting of lost hope away and replacing it with light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, as always love to hear what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

I drifted to awareness to find that Jamie was wrapped around me like a limpet. His arms both tight around my middle, chest pressed tightly to my back, and one of his legs wedged between mine. 

I hummed lightly and settled back against him. My mind wandered pleasantly, as it does when you first wake, unencumbered by the pressures of the day and was simply blank with the warmth of the sun flooding into my flat, a defense against the cold air outside.

It was a special pleasure today, not only because of Jamie, but because I am usually gone before the sun is up, off to the tub to get to class. I felt Jamie start to stir as something tugged on the edge of my mind and I tried my best to beat it away and focused on the feel of him behind me. 

He lazily rubbed his nose on the back on my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I opened my eyes to turn to him, but a flash of blue caught my eye first.

“SHIT!” I exclaimed and sprung out of bed like it was on fire.

“What!?” Jamie inquired as he jumped to a sitting position in bed, looking around the room frantically to see what upset me. In another time, I would have stopped to admire his red locks, fussed and messy from his sleep.

I ran into my bathroom, picking up clothes as I went, not paying attention to what they were. 

“The time! My class starts in 10 minutes,” I said through a mouth full of toothpaste.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him slide to the edge of the bed and stretch, causing my brushing to slow as I saw his toned chest as his white t-shirt rode up in the morning sunlight. My throat went dry at the sight and it took all the effort I could muster up to look away.

He walked over to the bathroom door and leaned against it as he watched me. “Dinna fash. I can drive you.”

That stopped me in my tracks. “Drive? You have a car in the city?” 

He smiled and I felt warmth simmer in my belly again at the sight. I tried to beat it back with the thought of failing grades. 

“Aye,” he murmured with a small gleam in his eyes as he looked at me. I, for the first time, became aware of what I must have looked like. Hair a wild mess from sleeping, smudged mascara from the day before, and my nipples hard as stone, visible through my white tank I had slept in. 

We stared at each other for a moment with perfect understanding before I regained focus. 

“Right…erm well that would be wonderful if you don’t mind,” I blushed while putting my toothbrush back into place. 

He nodded and pushed past me into the bathroom, nudging me out the door. “Get yourself dressed then and we can leave.” He then picked up my toothbrush and dotted a bit of paste onto. He turned to look at me, mouth hanging open in the door, and slowly raised it to his mouth without breaking eye contact.

I swallowed heavily. “Right.”

I didn’t hear a word of my professor’s lecture. I felt bad about making Jamie rushing to get me here when I couldn’t even concentrate enough to take even a few lines of notes. All my thoughts were of him. Of that red man who had shattered my reality in the best way possible.

Last night had been so wonderful, hearts and bodies twined together after the confessions of our hearts, both of us too tired to keep our eyes opened. We simply shed our outer layers of clothing and held onto each other as we both drifted into sleep.

I couldn’t get his face from in front of my eyes. His sleepy and heavy gaze as he watched me from my bed that we had slept on together. The feel of his hands lightly running down my back and that piecing look as he lifted my tooth brush to his mouth.

Even the though made my belly tighten. 

“Get it together, Beauchamp,” I mumbled to myself, but couldn’t help the little smile that came to my face. 

It was all entirely reckless and I knew that. But what is life without these risks, without these adventures? My heart called to him and his to mine. No matter the logic, I wanted him. And so I will have him, damn the rest.

I walked out of the door of the college with renewed purpose later in the day, each step was a step closer to Jamie. 

A sudden blunt force knocked the pep from my step, along with all of my books. I looked down to see a pretty blond girl on the ground, frantically trying to gather her belongings back together.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I wansa looking where I was going and…”the girl said in a soft Scottish voice as she stood back up to look at me. 

She was about my age, a little younger perhaps. I smiled and picked up a book that fell from her arms.

“No problem,” I said as I handed her the book. “It was probably half my fault as well.”

She laughed and started to edge away. “Sorry again, but I have to run or my professor will skin me for bein’ late again.”

“I’ve been there. Have a good day.”

She scampered away and as she moved out of my line of sight, I saw a glimpse of red.

“Jamie!”

He looked over from where he was standing, leaning against the wall and a huge smile broke out on his face as he saw me edge my way towards him through the pack of students.

It wasn’t until I got closer that I noticed the beautiful bouquet of flowers clutched in his right hand. My heart squeezed at the sight. 

He walked a step towards me and immediately used his free hand to twine in my hair and bring his face to mine. His lips tasted like mint and his face had a little stubble from not being able to shave this morning.

It gave me a secret pleasure that I knew this intimate detail. I smiled against his lips and he moved an inch back. 

He shyly handed me the gorgeous red roses twined together with a little white lace. I reached out and took them with my heart in my throat.

He ran his hand down my arm as he peered closely in my face. “I dinna ken if ye would like roses or even if ye like flowers at all, but I wanted to-

I cut him off with a kiss.

“They are beautiful, Jamie. I love them.”

His face lit up as he looked to the ground and smiled. 

“Come,” I said as I grabbed his hand. “Let’s go.”

Hands twined together, we walked away from the University. I turned my head a little just as we were about to cross the street, feeling someone looking at me. My gaze met the blue eyes of the late blond girl. Her eyes held an expression I couldn’t understand as she stared at me and Jamie walking hand in hand.

I smiled a little at her and turned back to Jamie, burying my face in his strong arm.


	5. Chapter 5

“Cheers, beautiful,” Jamie said as he gently touched his glass to mine. His amber, mine burgundy.

Heat rose to my face as his eyes bore into mine as we sat on opposite sides of the wide, cushioned window sill in my flat, legs twined together, watching the sun disappear into the horizon. 

It had been three weeks since our fateful meeting on the rooftop. Twenty-one days learning about each other and exploring this amazing connection we had developed. Both of us so broken, yet somehow able to pick up the pieces of each other and build one another into a whole person, one piece at a time. Now each forged back together with chips and bits of the other sown into our new beings.

“Cheers,” I said as I smiled back and ran my bare foot against his.

It was a quiet evening tonight. Both of us off work, myself from the office and him from the bar he worked part time. Though, he had no need to work as he had quite a bit of money from his father’s good investments and his savings when he was in the army. I thought he had quite a bit more than he let on, but was modest by nature. His own flat was as tiny as mine, though I had only seen it once. He spent most of his time here with me. Whatever free time I had, it went to him.

“I want to talk to ye about something.”

I set my wine glass down next to me, bracing myself as his tone turned serious. “And what’s that?”

My foot slid up his calf, slowly and deliberately. My breath hitched and I hoped he didn’t notice. Could tonight be the night? Jamie had said he wanted to wait a bit until we had sex. He said he owed that to me in respect and he wanted it to be special. I did as well, but I seemed to have less patience than him.

To be honest, I was surprised we lasted this long with each night coming to a close with us in a white-hot embrace, clutching and rolling into each other until we were left gasping for more. But one thing I had learned about Jamie was that his stubbornness was as strong as my own.

My desire faded to the back of my mind as he reached over and grabbed my hand, holding it tightly in both of his.

“You’re such a strong woman, mo nighean donn. Working and going to school. I dinna ken how ye do it, juggling all these things.”

I laughed a little and looked down at our hands. “Well, I don’t know that I always handle it so well. But getting to spend the evenings with your Scottish self certainly makes it easier,” I teased.

He leaned over and gave me a kiss, and then scooted over and wrapped me in his arms.

“Why thank you for the compliment, my lady,” he kissed my temple and squeezed me harder.

“But..erm…ye ken I told ye I had a bit of money.”

I looked up at his face at this remark, which was wearing a carefully placed mask. “Yes,” I said cautiously.

He caught the change in my voice and quickly explained. “Now, just hear me out.”

He watched my face carefully before beginning.

“I want you to quit your job and I want you to let me pay for the rest of your schooling. And I know what you’re going to say because even though we haven’t known each other too long, I ken your mind.”

I said nothing, but simply stared at him with my mouth hanging open, not comprehending that magnitude of his words.

He rubbed my sides soothingly. “Now you can yell at me and tell me I’m daft, but let me finish.” He waited until I feebly nodded and continued.

“You’re going to say it’s too much, that I shouldn’t be spending my own money on you’re schooling because that’s your responsibility to pay your own way. And I ken you could do it on your own. You could do it all because you’re so strong and I’m truly amazed at your resilience, Claire. I really am.”

I shook my head a little in dismissal, but he gently moved his finger under my chin to bring my face back to look at him. His face was blurry from the tears in my eyes and I had to blink them out so I could see him clearly. See him for the wonderful man I had somehow found.

“But you don’t have too. I’m here and I want to help you because…because I love you,” he said quietly, but strongly. A large lump formed in my throat as he continued and I had to fight back the sobs in my throat.

My hands shook slightly as he spoke his confession. Not in fear, but in pure elation. Pure happiness. Something that had been missing in my life for so long.

“And I know that it might be too soon to say that in a normal relationship, but we’re not normal are we?”

I smiled at him in answer with tears streaming down my face. I sniffled as he brought our twined hands to wipe away the tears on my cheeks. I cleared my throat before trying to find my voice.

“But you should spend your money on something you want or on your family. Your father is the one who made this money and you by risking your life.”

He shook his head.

“Think about what this money would do, Claire. It’s an investment in the future.” He brought our hands up to his lips, never breaking from my eyes. “And you are my future.”

My heart squeezed in my chest, pounding like a hummingbird’s wing. Love. I knew almost from the start that something powerful and otherworldly was between us. I had thought it more than love, but perhaps that’s because I had never experience the right kind love. A love with out conditions, without debts.

“Claire, ye will save so many people when you’re a doctor. Mothers, fathers, children. So many will live and have their loved ones for a longer time because of you. And if you can focus on only your studies and not have to worry about paying the bills, I’m not only giving something to you, but I’m giving something to the world.”

I closed my eyes briefly and shook my head. Such words, such emotion and trust. More trust than I have ever experience with Frank in our five years of marriage. I had thought the safety he offered me after the death of my Uncle was love. I thought his wanting me to stay at home and support me was love. But nothing could have been further from the truth.

Frank had never wanted me to go to medical school. He never understood my passion and need to heal. Yet, here was this man in front of me, ready to lay the world at my feet and asking nothing in return. A man who understood me better in only 21 days than anyone had in my whole life.

“You must really believe in me,” I whispered, barley able to speak through my thick throat.

“I do, with all my heart.”

The hand holding my own brought both our twined hands to touch my own heart, in a gesture almost more grand than his declaration. His heart was now in my own keeping.

Crystal blue eyes shone clear and true. So true they made me believe and they allowed me to trust.

“So please just-

I put my finger to his lips to stop his next words. I kissed him and I let myself fully fall.

“I love you, too.”

And his smile was brighter than any star.


	6. Chapter 6

Drifting to consciousness from a deep, restful sleep, I felt as though someone painting my body. Little strokes, delicate and precise, as if the artist was determined to make this work his masterpiece. The paint was warm and comforting on my skin, smooth yet textured. Small licks on my stomach, swirls on my inner thighs.

The bristles started to tickle me and I dreamily reached down to shoo the paintbrush away and was met with a mass of fur. I sat up a little, startled into awareness.

Bonny blue eyes met my shocked ones as they gleamed with mischief in between my thighs. Jamie hummed against me and I fell back onto my pillow, gasping. He chuckled and then focused back on his early morning task.

“Ohhhh,” I sighed a few minutes later while catching my breath and lazily stroking the soft thatch of red hair resting on my stomach.

He glanced up at me with the look of a proud man who had satisfied his woman. “Aye?”

“Aye,” I chuckled and turned my head into the cool side of the pillow, suddenly shy. His head popped up next to mine and he nuzzled my neck, dragging his lips across my throat, causing me to shiver.

“Don’t hide, mo nighean donn,” he whispered as he ran his hands up and down my thighs, lightly. “You’re so beautiful.”

Managing to flip back around, red cheeks in all, I saw his sincerity and love. Love that’s made me brave.

“If you say so,” I kissed his reddened lips. “Now, do you want some actual breakfast?” “What are the two cell types that do not have any nuclei?” 

“Red blood cells and…… blood platelets!”

Jamie ducked and kissed my tummy in reward, as was his usual practice when I got an answer right. When I got one wrong, he tended to bite. When he first saw my huge stacks of flashcards I needed to memorize, he determined that he had to find a way to make it more enjoyable for me. And for him.

“What GI problem can cause metabolic acidosis?”

“Bicarbonate wasting!”

“And that’s the last one of this section.”

I braced myself as he lurched at me and flung his body on top of mine, squashing me in the most delightful way into the carpet rug underneath us. He nuzzled my ear and then stuck his tongue inside.

“Ekkk,” I yelled as he continued his playful assault. “Let me go!”

But even as I voiced that exclamation, my legs wrapped around his, hugging him closer to me until there was no space between us.

“Never,” he laughed and pinned me to the ground. His hands bringing both of my own together and above my head. His solid, warm body atop mine, holding me right where he wanted, under his spell.

“Never,” he whispered as he lowered his face to mine, noses brushing softly. His eyes as tender as a summer night. I grabbed his face and pulled his mouth to mine. Our lips met roughly and his grip tightened on my hands.

The loud shrill of his cell on the table broke us apart. Jamie glanced at the phone and then back at me under him, panting and squirming.

“Ignore it,” he mumbled against my lips. I giggled and shook my hands from his grasp and straddled him while yanking off his sweatshirt I had been wearing.

His hooded eyes turned to slants as he rubbed my thighs, licking his lips as he gazed at my almost naked form. His hands reached up and brushed my breasts, taking special heed to avoid the most sensitive parts.

I wiggled in dismay causing him to gasp from the friction. I picked up his hands with mine and moved them to squeeze my breasts.

“Are you sure this is ok?”

“Yes,” I breathily whispered as his fingers brushed my nipples, moving in firm circles.

He let out a shaky breath and one of his hands slithered down my body and rested on the edge of my underwear. His index finger dipped underneath in question.

I smiled down at him and leaned to kiss him in answer, but almost toppled over at the sound of the loud ring of his cell again.

He let his head drop against the carpet in frustration. I laughed and got up off him and walked to the table to get his phone.

“Here better get it before…,” I wiggled my eyebrows in suggestion. He smiled at me coyly from the floor before hopping up and tossing me the sweatshirt.

“Better put this on, mo nighean donn. I canna be talking to someone clearly when yon lovely breasts are exposed.”

I kissed him on the cheek before pulling the garment over my head. Deciding to fix us some snacks, I moved over to the fridge as Jamie answered the intruder.

“What? Why are ye in…fine. Aye!”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Jamie pacing by the window, clutching the phone hard in left his hand and tapping his right against his leg.

I pulled out some biscuits and began filling my kettle for tea.

Jamie growled something in Gaelic on the phone before angrily hanging up. I set the tin down and walked over to him cautiously, coming up behind him and wrapping my arms around his middle.

“Ok?”

Some of the tension in his body began to ease at my touch. He sighed heavily as I kissed in between his shoulder blades.

“Aye”, he sighed and turned around in my arms. He cupped my face tenderly in both of his hands. “That was my Godfather, Murtagh. Mind when I told ye about him? He’s in London right now, at my flat actually and it must be serious if he took the train down.”

I furrowed my brows as this comment, most Scots I knew came down on the train.

“He’s, um, quite patriotic. Not to fond of merry old England,” he responded off my look.

“I see.” I tightened my grip on his middle. “So are we in a torrid love affair? The Scot and the Sassenach?”

That brought a smile to his face. “Nay, he’ll like ye fine.”

He leaned down and kissed my nose. “But perhaps ye can just smile nice and pretty, yeah?”

I stood on my tip toes and kissed his in return. “I’ll use my best charms. When will I be meeting him?”

He glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand. “About 20 minutes if ye please. I told him I would meet him alone at the bar, but,” he hugged me tighter to him. “I havena seen him since I ran from Scotland after my father’s death last year.”

I rubbed soothing circles on his back as his tone grew somber. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

He buried his face in my neck, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine. “I’d like that verra much, Claire.” He kissed the side of my neck gently in thanks. He leaned back and and took a deep breath.

“Well, Murtagh can be quite blunt, but he’s been there for me since I was a wee laddie.”

“Quite blunt?”

“Aye, sound familiar?” He ducked as I threw a pillow at his head. The tension in the air was palpable as the three of us sat in a booth in a tucked away in the corner of the pub that Jamie worked. Jamie and I sat on one side of the booth and his irate Godfather across from us.

Murtagh had been not quite what I had expected. A strong, sturdy looking man with a wild beard and piercing brown eyes. Those eyes were currently shooting daggers at his Godson and occasionally me.

“I thought ye said we’d be alone.”

Jamie glared at him in disapproval. “She’s sitting right here, ye daftie. And I told ye, whatever ye want to say to me, ye can say in front of her. She’s…she’s mine.”

His eyes grew softer as he looked at me. “And I’m hers.”

My heart lifted and I leaned over to kiss him, forgetting my surroundings as Murtagh mumbled under his breath in Gaelic.

A loud cough broke us apart a few seconds later. I ducked my head, cheeks flaring red. Jamie turned back to the older man in anger once more.

“I ken you’re not happy with me, so say what’s on yer mind and be done with it.”

“Aye, I will.” Murtagh put his clenched fits on the table and his face turned an angry red.

“It’s time to stop running, lad and come home. Ye’ve been avoiding it all since yer father died and left yer poor sister to run everything.”

Jamie ducked his head at the last comment. The stinging reminder of his broken relationship with his only real family left besides the irate man across from him.

I gripped his hand under the table, wordlessly giving him strength.

“I-I ken that I-

“No! Ye don’t ken! Ye were not there, Jamie! Christ, ye didna even attend his funeral and did ye know that Jenny is wed now?!”

Murtagh slammed his fist on the table, causing the beer in his mug to overflow and the few other customers watching football to glance at our table.

Jamie swallowed hard and leaned forward, a red surge peeking from the collar of his shirt and his hand griped mine so hard, I thought it would break.

He opened his mouth and then closed it. Murtagh stared at him wordlessly, waiting for the explosion he expected, most likely. And then suddenly, Jamie collapsed back against the booth, letting all the air out of his body, sagging into himself. And before he closed his eyes, I thought I saw a shimmer of unshed tears.

“Aye,” he whispered softly. “Aye, yer right. I’m a coward and I ran. I ran. And I’m sorry.”

He abruptly got up from the table and I moved to follow, but he shook his head slightly. I hesitated and then let him go outside for a moment alone. I sighed and turned towards Murtagh, furious.

“Do you know how guilty he feels? He blames himself for everything. It eats at him and you yelling at him about it isn’t helping.”

The man simply stared at me, face impassive, not letting one ounce of emotion show through his thick exterior.

“He’s told me about you and I know he loves and respects you. What he needs right now is your support, not your judgment.”

He took a large swig from his mug as he glanced down.

I picked up my purse and jacket. “Now, I’m going out there to comfort him because I love him and when and if he comes back, you will help him, not yell.”

I tossed a few pounds on the table and walked out.

There was a chill outside even though the sun was out and I wrapped my coat tight around me, looking for red hair. I spotted him sitting on a bench a few blocks down through the maze of people, shoulders slumped with his head in his hands. I walked over, ignoring the stares coming from inside the pub.

“Are you ok?”

Jamie sighed and moved over on the bench for me to squeeze next to him.

“Aye, he had every right to those words. I just dinna want to hear them.”

He smiled ruefully. “Truth be told, I missed his grisly face.”

I rubbed his shoulder, lightly. “Then, maybe you should go back in and talk to him.”

He nodded slightly, then lifted his head to gently kiss me on the forehead. “Thank you for being here.”

“Always.”

He groaned as he got up from the bench and looked back to the pub.

I got up as well and hugged him briefly. “Go. I’ll be back at the flat when you’re done.”

He kissed my hand in farewell. “It’s a date milady.”

And in that moment, standing in the middle of the city, I knew our bond was something made of steel and iron forged together. Nothing could ever break us. I just didn’t know how soon that bond would be tested.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS BEFORE YOU CONTINUE PLEASE!!!!! Remember when I mentioned that this story would have a little angst? Well, it comes into play in this chapter. My advice is to keep calm and trust me :)

“One more.”

Turning around while wrapping a hair tie around the messy bun I had fashioned my hair into, I leaned back down to the bed where Jamie was sleepily resting in the sheets and pecked his lips for the third time since I had gotten up to get ready for class.

Jamie had been out until the wee hours of the morning with Murtagh. It was a night full of forgiveness and bonding for them both after the storm had passed and the passion settled. Or so the drunken Jamie told me as he crawled next to me in bed at two in the morning.

He hummed and smiled while burying himself back into the warm blankets. Walking back into the kitchen, I grabbed one of the granola bars Jamie had bought at the market for us. Which I first thought was a selfless act, but then found his true motive was that I could still have breakfast when he kept me in bed too late to fix something.

I shrugged on my jacket and pocketed the bar in my bag for the tube ride. I moved to sit on the edge of the bed to pull on my boots as Jamie watched. While tying my laces, I felt a warm hand wrap around my middle, tugging me back into bed.

I laughed as he tugged me until I fell back against him, his front pressed to my back as his smooth lips moved to my neck. His tongue swirled around my throat as he sucked on the delicate sink, gently biting down as I whimpered against him, unable to stop him.

His hand moved to cup my sensitive breast over my shirt and bra. I sighed as I pressed back into him, feeling his want.

“I’m going to be late,” I whispered to him as his hand wiggled under my shirt. I moved my hand to rest against his, half pulling him tighter to me and half trying to hinder his progress.

He sighed, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine. I turned around in his arms and kissed him deeply, paying no mind to his morning breath.

“Tonight?” I whispered against his lips in delicate suggestion.

We had talked about wanting to wait until we had sex, but it was getting harder and harder to reign ourselves in and it was getting harder to justify waiting. We both loved and wanted each other deeply. It was time.

He opened his eyes and I felt them pierce my soul. “Tonight,” he promised.

 

 

Do you want chocolate cupcakes or chocolate ice cream?

I smiled down at my phone like an idiot as my professor went on about the different kinds of infectious diseases. Pulling it under the desk, I quickly responded back.

Both, of course. ;)

 

It buzzed about two seconds later.

Greedy wee thing.

I feared my face would almost break from my smile.

You love it.

I do. xoxoxo

After a glare from the girl next to me, I reluctantly put my phone back into my bag and forced myself to concentrate on the lecture. It was our month anniversary today as Jamie had reminded me of this earlier.

Tonight would mark the most special night of our lives together. Not only would we finally make love for the first time, I also strongly suspected that Jamie was going to propose.

I also suspected that Jamie had wanted to propose since the day we met. We had only known each other a week when we had been at lunch after my class. A few beats after he made me almost have an accident from laughing so hard, he grabbed my hands and simply said he wanted to marry me.

At the time, I brushed it off as a joke, but I could see the promise in his eyes as he spoke. And it wasn’t the fact that he said it that scared me so badly, but the fact that I would have married him that very day if he had asked.

Truly, I had never thought to marry again after Frank. Never had I thought that I would put myself at risk for failure again. Not after I had broken Frank’s heart. That memory still haunted me as those dark thoughts that live in the back of your mind do. Pulling and tugging on your attention every once in awhile, demanding you revive them to your mind for at least a few moments until the past comes to life in front of you.

He had been a knight in shining armor for me at the time, only 20-years-old with the last of my family leaving me when Uncle Lamb died. I had met Frank as Uncle Lamb’s teaching assistant at the university only six months prior to my beloved father figure’s untimely death. And he was a flicker of light in the empty, dark space of my heart.

It was selfish to marry him. I loved him, yes. But deep down in my heavy heart, I knew we weren’t a good match, but in my desolation and fear of falling into an abyss that I would never climb out of, I agreed when he proposed.

I had tried so hard, as did he, to make the relationship work. It broke my heart to see him desperately trying to please me, but he did not understand me. He never would.

But Jamie was not Frank. Not a mere flicker of a candle flame, but my sun. He lit up my entire sky with light. And I knew we would not fail.

 

Right as I walked out into the streets after my class, my phone lit up with Jamie’s face. I grinned like a fool as I always did when his picture popped up. Tussled red hair in disarray from his sleep and his slanted blue eyes crinkled in happiness as he woke to me snapping pictures of his sleeping form.

“Hello, you,” I answered while dodging students as I picked up my pace in order to make the tube.

“Mhm, mo nighean donn. How was class?”

“Fine. Are you home?”

“No, I’m picking up a few last minute things.” His voice was carefully detached as he spoke, careful not to inject any excitement to make me suspicious of his actions.

I laughed lightly in response to his careful planning and my heart fluttered in anticipation.

“Whatever you say. So I’ll see you at seven?”

“It’s a date, lass. Also Murtagh wants to get dinner tomorrow, the three of us. Can ye make it? I ken ye have an exam soon.”

Sprinting to get to the sliding doors before they shut, I answered breathlessly. “That’s fine. I will probably lose you in a second, I’m on the tube.”

“Love y-

I sighed as the call dropped and shoved it into my pocket as the man standing next to me shoved me into the wall. I took a deep breath and counted to ten as my usual practice when public transportation infuriated me. My eyes popped open a moment late as I felt a gaze staring at me. Seeing nothing but the normal suspects, I suspected it was another tube creep. Closing me eyes again, I conjured Jamie’s crumpled, sleeping face in my mind and smiled.

 

 

Afternoon sun pored into my flat as I placed my keys on the table. Bright, crimson roses greeted me as I looked up from fumbling. Dropping my bag onto the floor, I ran over like a child and buried my nose deep into the bouquet, smelling the lovely aroma. A welcome smell when the filth of the tube still stuck to my clothes. 

I plucked the card from the flowers and tore open the envelope.

These roses are nothing compared to your beauty. I love you. Thank you for making this the best month of my life. See you at 7 -J

I pressed the note tightly against my heart as tears threatened to spill down my face. I didn’t deserve this man and never would, but I would take him nonetheless. I dimly heard my phone buzzing in the midst of my giddiness.

Assuming it would be Jamie, I hit accept with my eyes still shut in happiness.

“Hello, love,” I crooned into the phone.

After a few beats of silence, I pulled it away from my ear and glanced at the screen.

It was a random number I didn’t know and heat came to my face as I wondered whether to hang up in shame or suck it up and answer.

Deciding on the latter, I fumbled with my next words.

“Oh, ah…I’m very sorry I thought it was my boyfriend.”

More silence.

“Hello?”

Nothing.

Shrugging, I ended the call and pulled out a rose from the vase, not able to help myself from sniffing one. I still had about two hours to kill until Jamie came home, so I grabbed my bag full of books and my rose and twirled to the window sill seat to study until he arrived.

A knock at the door made me jump sometime later as I sat buried in flashcards and books. I shoved them all aside, jumping up in excitement. Jamie must have come early to surprise me, though it was unusual for him to knock.

I hummed as I walked the door, picking up and throwing one of his shirts I had stolen onto the bed. The sight of Jamie’s things scattered around my apartment made me smile even brighter. His belt on top of my dresser, his laptop in the corner, and his gym shoes I pushed out of the way as I unlocked the door.

I almost jumped at the sight I was greeted with. Definitely not Jamie’s face.

A blonde girl, who’s face tugged at the edges of my memory, was standing outside my door way with tears running down her face.

I opened and closed my mouth, unable to form a thought as piercing blue eyes stared up at me, vibrant from the redness of her despair. Finally, I managed to find my words.

“Are you alright? Are you in some kind of danger?” I looked around in the hall to see if what had upset her was lurking near. Seeing nothing, I glanced back at her flushed face.

She simply stared, tears flowing down her face as her gaze traveled from the top of my head all the way down to my feet. She laughed cynically at me, her face turning from sorrow to anger and frustration.

“Why you?” She rasped, her voice rough and broken from crying. I noted she had a Scottish accent as well, from the North, I thought. “Why do you have that I don’t?”

Now, I was the one staring. I hesitated, not knowing what to say as such hatred emanated from her.

“Do I know you?”

She shook her head slightly and pressed her lips together.

“I ran into ye at the University once when I was running late.”

“Oh, um, yes…I remember.” I did remember the encounter, though only because that was the day Jamie had met me and greeted me with roses. I had pressed some of the petals into a journal, so I could keep the memory alive when the flowers died.

As I gazed at her, it wasn’t the way she ran into me I remembered, it was the angry stare as she saw me walk away, hand in hand with Jamie.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she beat me to it.

“My name is Laoghaire Mackenzie. I take it Jamie dinna mention me to ye.”

My eyebrows drew together in confusion as I racked my brain for any insights to this strange girl.

“Laoghaire? I don’t believe so,” I moved slightly and waved my hand inside the apartment. “Would you like to come in? It’s a little messy, sorry.”

“I dated Jamie before ye stole him away,” she stated, planting her feet in the door way.

A brief moment of shock ran through my body before my memory came back. I did remember Jamie telling me that, the day after we had met for the first time. When he pored his heart and soul to me, a stranger with nothing more to offer than a comforting touch. Though, he had never mentioned her name, just that she was Scottish.

He had met her at the pub he was working at, she was the owner’s niece studying in London for a semester. The only information I could remember is that they had dated only for a few weeks and broke up about a week before we had met. Jamie couldn’t put up with her moods and selfish demands and confessed to have only started seeing her because he thought she would be something familiar. A piece of Scotland in this foreign city.

A slight flush broke out on my cheeks as her gaze lingered on the belt in the corner and his shirt draped on my bed.

“He did mention it to me now that I think about it. Erm, can I do something for you?”

Her tiny nose scrunched up as she stared at me with utter distain. She took a deep breath and straightened her backbone.

“Aye. Ye can. I canna reach him and I need to give him a message.” She laughed bitterly at me while her gaze traveled to the picture of Jamie and I holding each other on my nightstand.

Her gaze turned icy cold as she looked back to me. “But I suppose ye can tell him for me.”

I straightened my own back, secretly delighting in the fact I stood a good four inches taller than her. “I can.”

She nodded and moved her hand to cradle her stomach. “Ye can tell him I’m pregnant. And it’s his.”

Staring at her, I couldn’t understand her words. My heart skipped a beat and I felt the blood drain from my face as I watched her eyes fill with delight at my surprise.

“He has my number still and if not, he can get it from my uncle. I think we need to talk. Him and I.”

And with a malicious grin, she turned and walked back to the elevator without another word.

I clutched the door for support as tears began to run down my face. Pains shot through my chest as I fell to the floor as if speared by a knife. No. No. No. It couldn’t be true. Not Jamie’s, not Jamie’s baby.

“No,” I sobbed, clutching my heart as my mind began to turn. I told you, it mocked. You could never be this happy without a price.

I heard my cries echoing down the hall and slammed the door shut as hard as I could with my foot. A felt a stab pierce my hand and looked down to see I had crushed the rose in my hand and a throne had gone into my skin.

Shakily, I pulled it out and only watched as blood ran down my wrist. No. No.

“NO!” I yelled and jumped up to angrily slam the vase of my beautiful roses to the floor, watching as the tumbled to the ground. The glass broke into a million pieces scattering across the floor like the pieces of my shattered heart.

Sobbing, I slid down to the floor again, unable to support myself as I held my injured hand against my broken heart while sitting around the broken pieces of love.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ PLEASE: This is another angsty chapter, so if you want to skip until the storm blows over, don’t read until the new few chapters. And before you get too upset, consider the fact that book Jamie and Claire have a verra angsty life as well. :) Just trust me!

I heard the whistling before I heard the footsteps on the floor. A joyous tune. One full of excitement and happiness.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

One step after another, growing closer and closer to the door. I did nothing, I simply stayed still.

There was a faint rusting as he looked for his keys in his bag. I kept telling him to store them in a place where he wouldn’t have to root for them every time he came home. And it did seem like his home, our home. As this flat had become such a refuge for us.

Before. Now, it was tainted with broken things, just like it was before.

I heard the clicking of the lock as the key turned.

And then silence as he door opened. The giddy whistle sharply breaking off as he saw the destruction in front of him.

“Claire?”

His voice was tentative, scared even, as he didn’t spot me immediately among the messy room and broken glass.

“Claire!”

A took a deep breath before responding. My tears had dried up in the hours I had sat on the floor waiting for him to come home. Sitting on the floor with my hands wrapped around myself to try and contain the hole in my chest, to keep it from growing before it consumed me.

“Here,” I whispered, my voice rough with my earlier anguish. I was careful not to look at him as he caught sight of me.

But from the corner of my eye, I saw him start from the shock of my voice. He dropped his bag and keys to the floor as he rushed over to me.

“What happened, mo nighean? Are ye hurt? Did someone break in? Christ! It’s ok, I’m here now. You’re safe.”

He spoke frantically as he looked over me in search of injury. But no injury was visible to his eyes. The only evidence he could see of my bleeding heart was the dried tears on my cheeks and my swelled eyes.

His calloused palm brushed my cheek softly, tracing the fullness. I was torn. Half of me wanted to throw myself into his arms and have his warm embrace erase my pain, soothing it with the security of his love.

But the other half of me wanted to pull his hair from the roots and hurt him like I hurt. To punish him for making me feel this way.

“No one broke in. I did this.”

My voice sounded lifeless. No emotion, no inflection…just dead. I think that alarmed him more than the fact that I seemed to have destroyed my flat.

I glanced at him quickly and saw his face torn in confusion and concern. His eyes flickered over to the broken glass and the clothes on the floor. The clothes of his I had gathered from my drawers and threw together on the ground after my tears had turned to furry.

“What’s happened, Claire? You’re scaring me.”

I thought for a moment how to answer before speaking. What had happened? It seemed such an innocent inquiry, I almost laughed. I turned to look at him full on for the first time since he had entered. His eyes were wild, feral almost at the thought of someone hurting me. His body tensed for action and his hair messy from the wind outside. He was beautiful. And that same torn feeling came back to me.

“Your ex-girlfriend stopped by. Laoghaire.”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion as he watched my face carefully. But I gave nothing away. My face that was usually glass had turned to stone.

“Laoghaire…. Mackenzie? But- why would she? I havena spoken or thought of her in months it seems.”

He sounded truly puzzled and I ached for his innocence and ignorance of the situation. I decided that directness was the best way to approach this.

“She gave me a message to give you.”

He looked even more confused then before.

“What? Why would she have a message for me? Unless her Uncle couldna reach me, but I haven’t seen him call. Maybe-

“She wanted me to tell you that she’s pregnant. And it’s yours.”

Silence.

I used to think that there wasn’t a long time before each heartbeat. But it seemed like an hour after each thud of my fractured heart. Each second of silence when he didn’t speak, my anger increased. I clenched my hands hard to keep from hitting something again.

He made a distressing sound finally and shook his head back and forth before speaking.

“Pregnant? But how…that’s not possible.”

“Do I need to tell you how babies are made? I just finished my reproduction chapter while I had been waiting for you.”

He flinched at my tone. Each word as sharp as a knife, cutting through his core.

“Dinna be daft, Claire. I meant that-

I jumped to my feet quickly as my anger boiled over to the surface. “Don’t tell me what to do!”

His exasperated look made the fury sizzle and spark in my blood as he slowly moved to stand, holding his palms up in front of me. “I wasna trying but if ye’d just list-

“No! I won’t listen! I did enough of that when that bitch was telling me that she was carrying your child!”

I slammed my fist onto the table, barley noticing the sting of the glass as it pierced my palm.

“You should have told me that you were sleeping with her!”

He walked a few paces toward me quick, reaching out his arms to me. But I backed away, against every instinct I had. He frowned at that, but let me be.

“I never slept with her, Claire. It canna be my child!”

I laughed cynically at him and turned away to look out the window. I couldn’t let myself hope yet. My heart was a cold prison now and it needed to stay that way until I felt safe enough to let the ice melt.

Jamie let out a sharp breath. His own anger was starting to simmer. “You didna ken what’s she’s like, Claire. She’s manipulative and impulsive. That’s why I couldn’t stand her.”

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, giving me space to try and absorb his words.

Maybe she is lying, a tiny voice whispered in my mind. The part that wanted to seek shelter from this hurt. The part that wanted to have him wrap himself around me until there was no more pain.

But I wouldn’t give into that. Not yet.

“So, if you claim to have never slept with her, how can she think it’s your child?”

He sighed deeply. “I dinna ken. Maybe the real father is a deadbeat and she’s trying to pin the baby on me.”

“So, there is no chance it could be yours? None at all.”

“No, I mean-“

I swirled around to him as the red fury behind my eyes that had been fading came back like a bolt of lightening. “What does that mean?!”

“No! There’s not! We only kissed a few times and there…there was only one night when-

My knuckles ached in protest as my clenched fists shook. “When, what?”

“There was…there was one night when,” he bowed his head into his hands, dragging his fingers through his tussled hair.

“I had too much to drink when I was out with some of the men I served with. Angus and Rupert. Ye ken I told ye about them.”

His tired eyes searched for mine and flinched away when they were met with my cold stare.

“Go on.”

His mouth twisted to the side as he rubbed his temples. “She was helping out at the bar when we were drinking and she took me back to my flat…but I dinna ken the rest. I blacked out after that.”

Tears prickled behind my eyes and I quickly shut them to stop the threat of them falling. “So, something could have happened?”

“No! I…nothing that could have resulted in a child anyway.”

“If you were blackout drunk, how would you know that?” I asked quietly, unable to stop a stray tear from escaping down my cheek.

A painful noise escaped his lips as he saw it. He pressed his hands against his eyes hard as if he were trying to remember something in the dark. And whatever he was seeing behind his eyes made me sick to my stomach.

“I-,” he hesitated.

“Exactly.” I turned back to the window quickly before more tears. “So, there is a chance.”

His reflection in the window jumped up and came to me. “No! Claire, believe me!” He placed his arms around my own that were wrapped around myself, keeping the pieces left of me together. I didn’t break his embrace, I let him hold me as he shook from feeling.

My heart ached for him. Hold him, it said. Give him comfort, it said. Love him.

Love. I remember now why I had kept my heart locked away for so long. Why I had never truly given anyone the key until Jamie. Jamie had that key. And now, here we are.

“You need to go and talk to her.”

He shook his head against my neck as I felt wetness role down my skin from his tears. “No, I need to stay with you. You’re upset, mo nighean”

I broke his embrace as the embers were re-ignited. “Don’t call me that!”

He pressed his lips together and looked down at the floor. “Alright.”

Suddenly, I couldn’t stand to be here. The air seemed to be sucked out from the room, suffocating me. My skin crawled with the feeling of being closed in and I moved to where I had thrown my bag earlier. “You need to find out the truth.”

“I know the truth!”

Rooting through clothes on the ground, I cursed loudly as I cut my hand once more on another shard of glass as I searched for my keys. “No, you don’t and we can’t go on until you do.”

Finally finding them, I grabbed my bag and walked to the door. “Claire! What are you saying? Ye canna leave!”

I counted to five in my mind before turning to look at him as he marched to me, determined not to let me go. For, a brief moment I saw the stranger who cried in my arms as he told me of his past. Of his pain. The despair, the hopelessness, the frustration, were all written on his red face. His blue eyes bloodshot and desperate as he sought for words that would make me stay.

My eyes shifted quickly away from the sight. If I looked long enough, I would never leave. And I certainly couldn’t stay here. Not now.

“I’m saying, go talk to her. I’ll be back later when you’re done.”

And with that, I opened the door and stepped into the hallway and walked away from him, standing among the broken and torn red petals on the floor.


	9. Chapter 9

The London sky was gloomy and dark. The clouds thinly spread out in an ominous looking pattern as thunder growled in the distance. It cast the park in a grey hue, feeding into my own misery. Despite the weather, there were many people out enjoying the dusk.

As I walked past a playground tucked in a corner of the park, I heard children squealing with delight as they ran around together, parents keeping a watchful eye as the light faded from the sky. I glanced over and saw a bright red head of a little one, the vibrant hair glistening like a star among the bleak landscape.

Gasping, I looked away as my heart squeezed. I had dared to imagine a child of mine looking like that in the last month. A child of Jamie’s. But now, there may be a child born in the next year with that same hair, but he wouldn’t be mine.

I walked as quickly as I could to escape the reminder of my pain. The barren trees kept me company as my feet took me took me away with no sense of direction. The barren limbs looked sad without their leaves, like an incomplete whole just waiting until they could come together again and bloom anew.

That’s how I felt without Jamie. An incomplete whole, wandering aimlessly without my other half. The breath went out of my body as I realized what I left. And I couldn’t seem to escape the haunted look on his face as I walked out the door.

I collapsed on a bench, the cold metal piercing through my coat. I pushed my hair out of my face and leaned my heavy, throbbing head into my hands.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around myself. A sad excuse for the arms that I ached for. I felt the ghost of his embrace, as if the strength he had given me in the short month we had known each other was still around me like a cloak.

And what had I given him in return? Judgment and anger. I had shattered his trust in me as I shattered the beautiful roses he gave me in celebration of our love.

Perhaps, this was the cost of that love that bloomed so quickly between us. A weed that we had to pull out before it killed the beautiful new flower before it could blossom. What did I want? Certainly not what I was doing now. Not sitting here alone in the cold. My hands trembled at the thought of being alone again. I was always able to be by myself. It was always easy for me. And though each loss I had faced in my life brought storms and rain, it was nothing like the bitter cold that surrounded me now. Nothing was worse than losing Jamie. 

But I didn’t have to lose him, a small voice whispered in my head. We didn’t have to end. We could still have a life together, the life that I imagined for us, but just possibly with another person in it that I could have never predicted.

And maybe I would just have to risk that possibility. If keeping Jamie meant having to help raise a child not my own, I would have to try. My love for him would give me the strength to overcome the challenges and pain that the future may bring.

Quickly, I fumbled in my coat pocket for my phone, cursing as the icy wind met my bare skin as I tore off my glove to unlock my phone. A whimper left me as I saw my lock screen. A photo of us at the pub, our flushed faces pressed together as we clung to each other after a night of drink.

My lips tingled at the memory of later that night when we had half stumbled and half fallen into bed.

I shook my head slightly and quickly went into my recently called and clicked his name. With each ring, my heart grew heavier and heavier. Was he ignoring me? Did he feel betrayed at the way I had acted? 

I bit my lip hard in panic as I jumped up from the bench and ran out of the park. I had to see him, I had to make sure he knew that I loved him and we would get through this. No matter the cost.

 

 

 

“Jamie!”

No answer. Just the sad echo of my voice against an empty space.

I slumped against the door of my flat in despair as the barren room mocked me. The room didn’t look like a disaster anymore. The glass was cleaned up and the crushed rose petals were no where to be found. I tried calling him once more and still no answer.

“Jamie, it’s me. I’m so sorry for how I acted, please call me back. We need to talk.”

Sighing, I hit end and clutched the phone to my heart. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was half past ten. Where would he be? Perhaps, walking London aimlessly as I had done or had gone to his own flat. Or maybe talking to her. I refused to even think her name as anger washed through me again. Not at Jamie, at her.

I pressed the heel of my hands against my eyes hard. The pub? He could have gone to drown his sorrows. I knew he would not be able to bare to sit in this room, with so many memories of us here. As I couldn’t stand it. I needed to find him tonight. With renewed purpose, I grabbed my bag and again headed out the door, but this time to find Jamie, not run from him.

It was a quarter after eleven when I finally reached the pub. It was bustling and packed, as per usual on a Friday night. The joyful chatter and laughs of friends celebrating the end of another week. I stood on my tip toes, trying to seeing past all the tipsy costumers. I pushed my way to the bar to see Duncan, the other bartender along with Jamie, making drinks.

“Duncan!”

His eyes met mine over the large pint of beer he was holding and held up one finger. As I waited, I tried to spot a red head in the crowd, my heart leaping when I caught sight of a flash of red and falling when I saw the ponytail attached to said head.

“Are ye lookin’ for Jamie, lass?”

Turning back, I saw Duncan leaning towards me. “Yes, have you seen him?”

He nodded his head to the very back corner of the pub. “Thanks,” I mumbled as I turned and craned my head to see in the back darkened corner.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw the top of the familiar red head. Pushing past the warm and sweaty bodies seemed to take an eternity. My chest tightened and hands shook from anxiety. Would he forgive me?

I stopped just short of him. He had his back turned to the pub and his head in his hands, a whiskey bottle and a glass set next to his right hand. His shoulders were tense in his white t-shirt, his jacket no where to be seen. He must have walked here without one in the freezing cold. I could see the muscles straining underneath the surface and I ached to smooth them away. His shoulders briefly shuddered and he clutched his hair in his hands in a vice grip. 

“Oh, Jamie.”

I threw myself at his back, sobbing into his shirt as I clung to him like a child.

He jumped at my embrace and turned slowly around to me. Still, I held tight to his shirt, afraid that if I let go, he would disappear from me and I would never find him again. My face was wet with tears as he looked at me like I was a stranger. Unable to comprehend that I was before him, he reached out and traced my cheek in the air, not touching my skin.

“Mo ghràidh,” he whispered through a tight throat as his blue eyes glistened with emotion. His cheeks were flushed pink, either from the drinks or the warmth of the room. His breath smelled strongly of whiskey, giving me a hint at how long he had been here.

“I’m here, sweetheart. I’m so sorry for earlier, I,” I choked off and looked down at the filthy floor before meeting his intense gaze again. “I…please forgive me, Jamie. I love you. So much.”

I threw myself into his arms and clutched his shirt in my hands, crushing his body against mine. I felt all the breath go out of him as finally held me, twining his strong arms around my waist. And if not for those arms, I would have collapsed from relief in the feel of his embrace. And I had known without a doubt that I had made the right choice, nothing would part him from me. And I would never let him go.

“No, Claire. It is I who should be saying sorr-“

I cut him off with a kiss, pressing my lips to his until they molded together as one and his breath became mine. Reviving me. Loving me.

Gently, I pulled my mouth an inch away from his and moved my fingers to brush his chapped lips. “It’s alright. We are together and that is enough for now.”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion as I brushed his stubbly cheek. “But-

“No. No buts. We can talk later. About everything and about all the consequences, but for now, for tonight, I just want you.”

He looked at me in incomprehension, like I was speaking some foreign language. I kissed the crinkled spot between his eyebrows before kissing his stunned lips again.

“All that matters is I love you and you love me,” I cocked my eyebrow in question and he hastily nodded his head as his fingers that were caressing my back balled my jacket in a fist. I noticed the spots on his white shirt that had turned translucent when my tears fell on him. 

“Then, the rest can wait. Nothing will take you from me. Nothing in this world.”

A small noise came from his throat as he moved his hand to cradle the back of my head as if I was a priceless gem, worth the most value in the world. Everything except him faded, the noise and the sights. All that was left was us and our love, closed in a small corner together.

A tear escaped the corner of his eye as he looked at me with the most love I had ever seen on a person’s face. His tender and passionate eyes warmed me like the sun and all the clouds in my heart were pierced by the oceans in his blue eyes.

“I love ye, so much, mo nighean donn,” he spoke in a heavy voice as it cracked at the end from raw emotion. He ran his fingers through my hair and brushed a strand stuck to my cheek away.

“Then, take me home.”

He traced my lips with his thumb as his own mouth trembled, searching for words and not finding any.

Slowly, he let go of me and leaned back slightly. He took my hand, closed his eyes, and dipped his head in a bow to me, kissing the back of my hand like I was a queen he worshiped.

And in that moment, we were infinite.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than normal. Can’t promise it won’t happen again! Also major thanks to @gotham-ruaidh for reading it and being awesome in general! Anyway, I think you guys will like this chapter and there is not any real angst here. Also it’s NSFW ;) Enjoy!

We seemed to be floating. Floating like two feathers in the wind, forever dancing around each other as the elements crashed down upon us. It seemed an eternity until we had reached my flat yet, no time at all as we came together with a power bigger than the both of us.

His lips hadn’t left mine since we left the pub and made our way home. His mouth tickled my hair on the tube as he cradled my head on his chest with my arms wrapped tightly around his middle, holding him. As we walked the short track from the underground to home, he held my hand against his mouth as his other was wrapped tight around me, shielding me from the icy wind.

And now we were here. He kicked the door closed behind us as he grabbed me by the hips and lifted me onto the kitchen table, his fingers digging hungrily into my skin. I drew his head down to mine and our lips met in a fierce collision. His tongue danced with mine as I kicked off my shoes and tossed my jacket aside onto the floor somewhere. He broke apart for air and looked down at me while I trailed my fingers down his stomach lightly.

He tipped my chin up to look at him as his eyes blazed into mine and asked all the unspoken questions. Are you sure? Right now?  
I looked up at him with my answer in my eyes and he breathed in deeply as he grabbed me by the arse and lifted me from the table to the bed. The sheets were cool against my skin as I watched him crawl to me in the silver moonlight.

Easing open my legs, he leaned down and kissed the sliver of exposed flesh between my jeans and sweater, his warm tongue darting out to taste my skin. I squirmed against him as he ran his warm hand down my legs before sliding them back up to unbutton my pants.

The bright moon flooding through the window made everything seem black and white, casting our love in a surreal lighting and making it seem like a slow dance.

We took our time removing the rest of our clothes, moving slowly, cherishing every new piece of skin unbarred. Kissing here, touching there. His mouth skimmed the valley between my breast as he pushed down the straps of my bra down my shoulders. I tasted the skin of his thigh as I eased off his pants, feeling the tickle of the rough hairs on his thighs against my cheek. His face buried itself into my neck as I smoothed my hand down his stubble while we removed the rest of the layers separating our skins until there was nothing left but the both of us, bare.

He cupped my neck in his large hands as it fell back from his attentions to my throat. His soft mouth gently sucking the sensitive skin until there was sure to be a mark from his love.

I tasted him, salty in my mouth. And he felt the slipperiness between my legs.

There was nothing but the two of us in the inky darkness. No other thoughts but of each other. There were no threats, no worries or questions about the future. The future was set as we loved and we knew each other was the future. Nothing could change that.  
And it was simple. Easy. Natural. His body eased between my legs as my thighs fell open in response to his request, almost unconsciously. His strong thighs rasping against my smooth ones as he lay over me, nose to nose. His eyes opened -an inch from mine- and his faced softened; the light of the moon showing me the glimmer that grew in his eyes as they fixed themselves to mine.

His lips brushed my bottom lip as I snaked my hand down his tight and quivering belly until I found him and brought him into me.

His breathing became loud and shaky as he pushed in, inch by inch. Slowly. Gently. Not willing to rush in order to fulfill his primal urges. But to just feel as he joined us for the first time. He lost himself in me as I did in him. We were suspended in the agonizingly perfect union that only the two of us would ever feel in this way. And as we loved and his chest pressed tightly against mine, we became one heartbeat.

My hips thrust against his after a moment of stillness. Of learning what this felt like with each other. Experiencing how it felt to be one person, joined. And we existed only where we touched each other. Where he came into me, where he brushed his lips against me, where I caressed his back. The rest was just smoke.

“God, I love you,” he whispered, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine as he hovered over me, his words of devotion drawn into my lips as I kissed his damp shoulder in answer and tightened every muscle around him, making him whimper in pleasure.

We became lost in the rhythm that was excitingly new yet warm and familiar at the same time. His thrusts grew faster and harder as we both felt the spasms and sparks start to light our bodies. My fingers grasped his back, nails digging into his skin, as my legs came to wrap around his hips, fighting to control the sensations in my body while bringing him deeper and closer. His hips snapped against mine hard, letting all the frustration and love he felt pound into me as he let go of all his emotions that lay in his heart and gave them to my keeping.

My belly rubbed against his, echoing the friction between our legs. I felt as if I was a small flame about to explode into a hot fire as we grasped and clawed each other. Desperate to possess each other. To own one another.

His gasps touched my neck as he half collapsed onto my body, unable to support himself against the feeling of us. I grasped his hair, holding it tight as an anchor as my toes curled against the cool sheets. A sharp contrast to the red heat between our bodies. My hips met his every thrust without conscious thought as I tasted a drop of sweat that clung to his neck.

And while we loved, I was no one. I wasn’t the girl who had lost her parents. I wasn’t the girl who had a failed marriage. I wasn’t the overworked and overwhelmed medical student. I was no one. No one but his.

The hot embers between us grew to flames as my belly tightened and the spasms of pleasure started to rack through my body, moving from my core to my fingertips until I came apart into his hands that were clutching my arms harder enough to bruise. My legs were locked tight against his hips, squeezing them as he moaned atop of me.

The throbbing in myself echoed in his own body and I felt his release pulsing deep inside me as he gasped into my neck, letting his tongue taste my skin. Letting himself pour into me until we were no longer two souls. But one intertwined being with all our bruises and scars.

Our bones dissolved until we seemed to be floating on the sheets. And then he collapsed onto me fully, our toes brushing and his chest flat against mine. His gasping becoming my own as our stomachs moved in unison in an erotic dance as we fought for breath together.

And finally, when we were spent, we were in possession of each other’s bodies as well as our hearts. Able to finally know the secrets of each other without words.

 

“Hmmmm,” I hummed against warm, smooth skin.

A rumble came from the body I was currently resting my head on and I smiled. His hand came down to rest on my hair, brushing a curl behind my ear and smoothing his other one down my naked back.

The rain pattered softly outside as we lay among tousled sheets and crooked pillows, nestling us in a cocoon of warmth that protected us from the chill of the winter air. My cheek was pressed to his sternum in utter bliss as we simply enjoyed the peace of the quiet night. We were too content to sleep and unwilling to separate, even to the land of our dreams.

“What are you thinking?”

My eyes flickered up to his, which were warm and made me melt even more into his body. His lips were turned up in an ever so slight smile as he ran his fingers through my hair.

“I’m just happy, Jamie. There is no room for anything else right now. Just happiness.”

He closed his eyes at my words. I kissed his chest and nuzzled my nose into him.

And then he whispered so quietly, “Did ye mean it, Claire? Truly? That nothing will take ye from me?”

I squirmed up a few inches to we lay face to face, with my side still pressed tightly to him. I ran my hand down his cheek as his eyes glistened up at me.

“Nothing will ever take me from you, Jamie. And that I promise with all my heart.”

A silver tear escaped the corner of his eye as he nodded slightly against me. Leaning in, I kissed the tear away and snuggled back into him. Finally, able to leave my dreams to his keeping.


	11. Chapter 11

Jamie’s foot tapped anxiously as I watched the cream in my coffee swirl and tumble like my own personal galaxies forming before me.  
It was another cold morning in London and I wrapped one hand around my warm cup and stuck one hand under Jamie’s shirt, always guaranteed to be warm even in the cold temperatures.

For the hundredth time since we had sat down in the small diner, I looked into the reflective glass in front of me to see if there was a glimpse of bright yellow hair. And for the hundredth time, I wished we were back in a cozy nest of blankets in our flat, away from the world where there was nothing but us.

But that wasn’t possible. We were here and real life was making a rude appearance into our lives after a blissful few days of finding each other again and again and again.

The reason for this early morning anxious breakfast was to meet the last person in the world either of us wanted to see. Laoghaire.

Jamie had wanted to go alone to meet her, but I gently took his hand and reminded him that we were fully partners now. And we needed to face all these adversities as one unit. And there was a part of me that just wanted her to see that she couldn’t scare me off. I was here and was never going to go anywhere. And she would just have to deal with that.

Jamie sighed deeply next to me and bowed his head. I rubbed my hand up and down his back gently and felt all the strain he was carrying in his shoulders. It was true that when one person is pacing and stressed, the other becomes calm because they have no choice. I needed to be his rock right now.

“It’s going to be fine, Jamie. We’ll deal with whatever she throws at us.”

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye and squeezed my thigh lightly. It was silly, but that small intimate gesture made my heart jump.

“Aye. Aye, I ken. With you at my side, I can move mountains. And maybe even this blond mountain.”

I smiled as I leaned over and kissed his temple.

“Aye,” I whispered into his ear and grabbed his chin.

A loud cough broke us apart a few moments later and I gripped his hand even tighter as the she-devil descended upon us.

“What is she doing here, Jamie?”

Her use of his name made my fingers clench and my teeth snap together, but I took a deep breath and simply looked into her crazy blue eyes.

“Jamie and I are together. And I’ll be by his side and support him in everything he does. That’s what I’m doing here.”

Jamie turned to me, his soft blue eyes a sharp contrast to her frosty ones. His were warm and filled with love as he kissed my forehead.

“Sit,” he gestured to the other side of the booth. She eyed us both with distain before sliding in across from us.

And then nothing. No one knew what to say. I fiddled with the handle on my cup and Jamie’s foot began tapping again. Laoghaire said nothing, but continued her cold stare.

Finally, after a few minutes of painful silence, Jamie cleared his throat and took a deep breath before speaking. “How long before they can check the baby’s DNA?”

“A few months yet.” She fidgeted while looking down at the table.

“That’s not true. You can do a non-invasive paternity test after 8 weeks.”

Her eyes, sharp and filled with moisture, shot daggers at me. If looks could kill, I thought.

“Ye ken it all now, do ye? Jamie, I want to talk alone!”

I half expected her to get up and stamp her feet like a baby for emphasis.

Jamie glared right back at her, not letting her childish ways deter from the topic at hand.

“She’s going to be a doctor; she knows such things. And no, she is my partner and she remains.”

She slapped her hand on the table and spoke through her clenched teeth.

“The both of ye will no-

“Hi! Can I get you something to drink?”

She broke off her strangled speech as the bubbly waitress looked down at her with a kind smile.

“No, thank you.” Laoghaire looked down to her hands again, trying to reign in her emotions.

“Are we ready to order then?”

Jamie glanced up at her as calmly as he could. “No, thank ye. We’ll be leaving shortly.”

The waitress smiled pleasantly and disappeared as I took a deep breath and rubbed my hand on Jamie’s thigh to help calm him.

He cleared his throat and took a gulp of his own coffee before speaking. “Ye ken I think yer lying. I dina believe we ever…mphmm. The baby’s no mine, but I’m a man of honor and I’ll wait until I ken for sure.”

She twisted her mouth to the side and her fingers turned to claws.

“Claire says ye should be able to know by 8 weeks. That’s two weeks’ time. Contact me when you get the results and I expect to see the official copy.”

Jamie stood and held his hand to me. I scrambled out of the booth as he dropped a few pounds on the table.

“Have a pleasant day.”

And with that he swirled around and wrapped his arm tight around me as we walked to the door. I couldn’t help but glance back at her as we exited.

Head bent, blond hair falling across her face as I saw the glistening of tears on her cheeks. And in that moment, I pitied her.

 

 

“The lass is a nut job.”

Murtagh’s deep, Scottish voice was a comfort as we lounged in Jamie’s flat, only hours after the unpleasant encounter in the diner. Jamie laughed bitterly and rubbed his face with his hands hard.

“She is,” I agreed as I poured tea into Murtagh’s cup and then Jamie’s.

“Do ye really think she’s with child? No yours, but someone else’s and she’s trying to get a good man to be the bairn’s father?”

“Could be,” Jamie mumbled into his hands.

“Do you want some ibuprofen?” I stroked his hair as I sat down next to him on the couch, tucking my feet under me as I snuggled into his side.

“Nay, I’m fine.”

He had been rubbing his temples since we got back and I knew the events of today were weighing heavy on him.

“It won’t be long now. A few weeks and she’ll be out of yer lives for good.”

I smiled at the statement. Murtagh was never one to sugar coat things. That I had learned in the few weeks I had known him. A solid presence that brought great comfort to Jamie. And to me.

“Hope so,” I mumbled into Jamie’s shoulder.

Those sharp brown eyes met mine sharply in response, clearly not pleased. “I mean, I know so!”

He rolled his eyes at me and got up to pat his godson on the shoulder.

 

 

“Jamie, lad!”

I glanced over to the large man barreling towards us. Long hair tied back and a large smile on his friendly face, he was exactly as Jamie had described him. He stood out immediately in the crowed bar. Jamie had wanted to skip meeting up with his old friend, but I knew it would help ease his mind and let him blow off a little tension.

“Rupert, man! How are ye?”

Rupert grabbed Jamie off his bar stool and grabbed him tightly in an embrace. He shook Jamie in glee while laughing. Rupert had served with Jamie in the military and was one of his closest friends.

“I’m fine, ye ginger snap. No much can happen in a month.”

Jamie glanced over at me and we shared a secret smile. A lot can happen in a month. It was only just a little over a month since we had met on the rooftop, yet it seemed like I had known him my whole life.

“Claire, this is Rupert. Rupert, this is my Claire.”

I smiled and reached out to shake his hand, but he gleefully wrapped me up in a bear hug instead.

“Well, hello, Rupert. I hear good things,” I said breathlessly as he set me back down.

His brown eyes twinkled at me as he sat down on the empty stool next to Jamie while signaling to the bartender to grab him one of Jamie’s pints.

“Tell me about Jamie when you were in the military together,” I teased as I snuggled into Jamie’s side.

“A dhia,” Jamie mumbled as he took a large swig from his drink and Rupert laughed loudly.

He leaned in to whisper to me while side-eyeing Jamie.

“All the lassies fell over as he walked around in his uniform. His hair was shorter and he much younger, ye ken?”

Jamie fiddled with the napkin under his drink with much scrutiny. “Not true.”

Rupert slapped him on the shoulder. “Oh yes it was and a ginger no less! These women have no taste.”

“At least it seems he’s gotten some sense knocked into him with ye being his new girl,” he winked at me in amusement.

“New girl?” I said jokingly and watched with amusement as Jamie turned red.

“Oh, dinna fash, lass. You’re a fair improvement to the whiny blond he had last time I saw him.”

He chugged the rest of his pint and waved his finger for another one.

“That lass was off her rocker. I kent it as soon as I saw her. Only knew her the one night, but that was enough!” He shook his head at Jamie clearly disapproving. “She wanted ye bad though. Mind that night we indulged a little too much? Kept trying to push me into the bedroom while ye were passed out on the sofa. It was funny that, like a fly trying to move an elephant!”

It was as if a shock when through Jamie as Rupert spoke. “Ye say I was on the sofa the whole night and ye were there as well?”

Rupert eyed him with humor. “Aye, ye drunkard. I threw ye on the sofa and ye were in the same spot when I woke! I didna ken where the lass went. Home, I expect.”

My heart raced as he spoke, hope tingling in my fingertips as Jamie almost hummed with feeling.

“So, that night…I didn’t go off with her anywhere?”

Rupert took a large swig of his drink before answering. “No, man. Ye were in no condition for anything, let alone anything she wanted to do to ye!”

Jamie turned to me then, eyes full of relief and love. And suddenly, we were the only two people in that bar.


	12. Chapter 12

“Where do ye want these, mo nighean donn?

I glanced over to see him holding a few of the weathered, green encyclopedias that Uncle Lamb had bought for me over the years as we traveled the world without a proper school for me to attend. They took up a lot of space because of their large spines, but I couldn’t bare to part with them. The image of me reading and huddled in a tent somewhere while he wrote in his journal about the day’s findings was too dear to my heart. 

In a childhood full of unpredictability and change, those quiet moments were the closest I got to have a domestic, normal life. Frank had wanted me to condemn them to storage when we lived together, but I never relented. I wanted them close to him as he would have been if he were still here. It might have been silly, but I couldn’t bare the though of them tucked away in some small cold unit collecting dust as the years went on.

“Ah, just put them in one of the miscellaneous boxes.”

My whole flat was littered with cardboard boxes as we had been packing for the better part of the day. We had done Jamie’s flat yesterday. All the boxes would soon be loaded in the truck we had rented for next weekend as we prepared to start our new journey. We were moving to Scotland. Edinburgh.

London wasn’t a good fit for us anymore. Jamie missed his home country something terrible and I needed a change. To move away from the past and into our future. The past three months of our relationship had been blissful and easy. No troubling ex-girlfriends or staggering student debt. Just the two of us getting to know one another and learning everything we could.

We had decided one night about a month ago over Chinese take out.

“How have ye never been to Scotland, Claire? With all the traveling ye did as a wee lass?”

 

I smiled at his outraged tone as I speared a piece of crisp broccoli from his plate and into my mouth.

 

“I don’t know. Uncle Lamb was never commissioned to go there. Frank went a few times, but I always stayed here. Too busy with school, I guess.”

 

He mumbled something like “uncultured” under his breath as he spun noodles with his chop sticks.

 

“Tell me about it,” I urged. He missed it something terrible. I knew that. Missed his family and the ground which he had grown up on.

 

His eyes drifted to me and smiled, but they looked past me as the landscape of Scotland surrounded him as he began to talk.

“There’s a certain magic to the land, ye ken? I know that sounds daft, but with the mountains so grand and the snow atop them. And the sparkling lochs and greens as far as the eye can see. It’s like,” he waved his hands around in front of him as if to recreate the mountains for me. “It’s just special.”

 

Reaching over the soy sauce packets and the empty cartons, I grabbed his hand tightly as power of home overwhelmed him.

 

His voice was a little rough as he continued as he looked out the window. “And the people are so fierce. In a good way. Loyal and tied to the land. You’ll never find better.”

 

“Really?” I teased as I brushed circles on the back of his hand and fluttered my eyelashes in a way I knew would amuse him.

 

His eyes came back to the room and landed on me with a wide smile. His eyes crinkling and soft.

 

“Aye, well. Maybe with the one exception.”

 

I leaned over and brushed his lips with mine. Tasting the saltiness and sweetness from his chicken.

 

A thought suddenly came over me as the image of Scotland was so present between us. An image of the future. And not one in the bustling city of London, but one of green hills and fierce people. And one where Jamie could have his family in his life again.

I moved back an inch from his face and knew my answer as soon as his eyes fluttered open and met mine.

 

“Then, let’s move.”

 

His eyes turned to bright sapphire crystals as they grew wide while he took in my words.

 

They searched mine for a few moments. I was unsure of what he was looking for, but he always claimed I had a glass face. He must see my happiness and clarity as I gazed right back at him.

 

“I coulnda ask ye to uproot your life,” he choked out as I cupped his cheek, rough with unshaven whiskers.

 

A laughed a little at that and looked down. “I don’t have any real ties here, Jamie. I spent my first five years in England, but then traveled all over the world. Rootless. And the last five years of my life here, they haven’t been happy. Until I met you, that is.”

 

Tears prickled behind my eyes as I spoke of my past and how far I have come. The grief and bitter disappointment. Deaths. Loans. Failed marriage. And loneliness.

 

His thumb brushed a tear not quite fallen from the corner of my eye. I met his eyes again to make him see my truth.

 

“Ever since my Uncle died. I haven’t had a home. Frank was never it. I’ve been wandering around without a place. But now I have one,” I moved my forehead to rest on his. “You are my home now.”

I planned to finish up school there. My credits safely transferred and waiting for me come the new semester. And Jamie was going to take up charity work, working with soldiers who suffered from PTSD and to help them find work after they came out of the service.

It was an important cause, close to his heart. There were nights when he would wake, stiff as a corpse next to me and sweating as he fought to shake off his nightmares. Sometimes, he would want me to hold him while he shook, but others he declined my touch, afraid a flashback would over take him and he would hurt me.

That was the hardest part, watching him suffer and not being able to ease his pain. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, it breaks my heart even more each time.

I hadn’t even known that he suffered from it until one day at the park when a fireworks display had caused him to jump and clutch his head tightly in the midst of our walk. I thought he suddenly became ill as I lead him to sit under a large tree in the park, away from the spectators.

“Jamie, love? What is it?”

 

He had put his head between his knees and shook from anxiety and terror as he told me later. He was assaulted with flashbacks from his time in combat and the sounds of guns tearing through his head.

 

It took fifteen minutes until I could persuade him to get up and find a cab home. His haunted blue eyes focused on nothing as he told me about his experiences in war while lying in bed later that night.

 

The guilt that he survived when others didn’t. The children he had seen who were killed by bombs. The mourning wives and devastated fathers. Seeing his fellow comrades being blown to bits by roadside explosives. He poured his heart out until tears ran down his face.

 

I had gently wiped them away and kissed him until I felt him rouse. And then, I slowly removed our clothes and let him live in the moment and push the past away to the shadows it belonged in.

 

And we loved until he shook in pleasure not pain. “You are my comfort, Claire,” he had whispered while inside me. Slowly and forcefully pushing home again and again as I held him tight to me. And when the demons were finally at bay, he fell asleep listening to my heart as I held his head to my breast.

 

That night had brought us closer than I had thought possible. He had laid out his soul to me, with all its imperfections and let me love him in spite of them. We were even more a part of each other than ever before.

And now, as I gazed at him carefully wrapping my precious encyclopedias and placing them in the boxes that symbolized our news live together, I felt an overwhelming amount of tenderness.

I set the tea cups I had been wrapping and walked over to him. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I whispered into his ear. “I love you.”

I felt him breath in deeply and I saw his cheeks turn up in a smile. He turned in my arms and picked me off the floor and to the bed.

Later, I was tracing circles into his belly as he laid on his back in bed. His fingers ran down my spine in soothing rhythms, tracing patterns into my skin.

“Claire,” he whispered, so quiet I almost didn’t hear him.

My eyes were close in post-coital bliss as my body molded into his hands. 

“Mhmm?”

His stomach jumped from his quiet laugh. I rested my cheek on it, relishing the warmth and the feel of his blood pulsing through his body. He brought a hand down to rest on the top of my head and brushed the hair away from my face.

“Marry me.”

My fingers froze and my eyes darted to his face. And it took my breath away. Whips of red hair on his forehead, a little damp from our previous love making. His cheeks flushed and his eyes glistening. He was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

We had talked about marrying, of course. He had told me repeated times that he wanted to marry me, but we decided to wait for a little while. I suspected he wanted to marry in Scotland and with his family present.

But right now, with the light illuminating his face and his heart thumping underneath me. I knew he meant it.

“Ok,” I whispered, a huge smile forming on my face.

“Is that a yes?” His smile was equally as large and warmed me to the bone.

“YES!”

I jumped on him and kissed him hard on the mouth until we both lost our breath.

“I canna wait until Scotland, Claire,” he breathed into my mouth. I snaked my tongue out to brush his lightly. “Let’s do it this week.”

“Yes,” I answered as I kissed his cheeks and everywhere I could reach on his face. He thread both hands in my hair and kissed me long and deep.

“Murtagh can be our witness,” he whispered. “And then you will be my wife.”

I moaned into his mouth as passion overtook me. “And you’ll be my husband.” My voice was raspy with feeling and I felt tears on both of our faces. Both overcome with the power of what was between us and what we knew would never leave.

I felt him grow hard against me and I shifted down until I took him inside me once more. Jamie groaned, his muscles tightening and his hands sliding down my body. Cupping my breasts and sliding down to rest on my hips, gently kneading my damp flesh and he pushed and pulled, aiding me in my efforts.

I rocked slowly back and forth on him, delighting in all his sounds and relishing the pleasure rippling across his face.

“Not long,” he mumbled as he snaked a knuckled deep between my legs.

Pleasure spread like wildfire through my body, little bolts of lightening from our connection flying to my thighs and my chest until my whole body throbbed. And the feelings that went through me echoed in him as I felt him pulse inside me.

I snuggled into his chest and kissed his heart, still connected as the after shocks ran through us both.

“Jamie…”

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the finger that would soon wear his ring. A promise of tomorrow and everything that it would hold. And I couldn’t wait.


	13. Chapter 13

Sighing, I finally let the tension drain from my shoulders as I exited the records section of the hospital. It was ironic how much I hated hospitals unless I was working there. I had needed to acquire my medical records and information because once Jamie and I left London, I didn’t plan on coming back here anytime soon.

But I couldn’t help the smile that grew on my face as this meant Jamie and I were one step closer to marriage. And Scotland.

Adrenaline spiked my system and my fingers itched to call Jamie. The hallways weren’t crowded as I walked through them and could probably sneak a call. I went to grab my phone from my purse, but then hesitated. He would be dealing with his landlord, trying to break his lease early.

My phone suddenly buzzed in my hand and the caller read unknown. Shaking my head, I pressed ignore and put it in my pocket. That was the third call this week and no one ever answered. I made a mental note to make sure my name wasn’t on any solicitors list when I got home.

Next stop was getting a few more boxes for all of Jamie’s books. I never thought the idea of getting cardboard boxes will fill my heart with such joy. Love is a strange thing.

A noise pulled me away from my thoughts and a familiar flash of blonde made my heart drop as I came to a halt.

It was Laoghaire. I could see her through the open glass doors of the office she was in. She had seen me as well and was trying to use her hair as a curtain to avoid me. It had been about three months until I had seen her last, but it wasn’t her hair that got my attention. It was the swell of her belly.

I looked up to notice she was in the women’s health center of the hospital where most went to see an OBGYN.

My palms grew clammy for a moment before I remembered it was impossible that the baby was Jamie’s. So, she had been telling the truth about one part and had tried to pin down Jamie for the lie.

I hesitated in the hall, half turned to leave and to never have to see her face again. But something, a moral bug, made me go to her.

She huffed as I came closer and sat down on the plastic chair next to her. I didn’t know quite what to say, she did after all, try to ruin my relationship.

“I suppose ye will be wanting to tell me that ye won and Jamie’s yours. I ken that, even though ye stole him away. Leave me be.”

Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I prayed for patience.

“No, that’s not what I was going to say. I was going to ask how you were because the father obviously isn’t in the picture if you tried to convince Jamie he was the father.”

She huffed and her fingers clutched her purse in a death grip as she looked anywhere but at me.

“Look, I know we don’t like each other, but if you need help, I know of a support group for single mothers. One of my friends was in one.”

I grabbed an old receipt and a pen in my bag, but she stood abruptly, knocking it from my hand.

“I didna need your pity!” Her face turned red and I noticed her whole body seemed a little swollen. Her cheeks puffy as well as her eyes. Again, I felt pity and not so much anger. She was obviously alone.

I tried to make my face as pleasant as possible when easing forwards to grab my pen back and quickly wrote my friends number down. She clearly didn’t want to talk to me more than I wanted to speak to her.

“It’s not my pity, it’s help and support for women in your situation,” I put the little paper next to her bag on the plastic chair. “Call her or don’t. I was just trying to help.”

I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. “Goodbye, Laoghaire.”

“He was mine. He could have loved me,” she said in a small voice. I glanced back to see a tear rolled down her face as she stared at the floor as if Jamie himself was going to come out of it and carry her away.

I swallowed and put my hand on the door to leave. “No, he wouldn’t have. We belong together, but just because he wasn’t the one doesn’t mean you won’t find someone someday.”

And with that, I turned and walked out the door. Comfortable with the fact that we had closure and I had tried to do something for her, whether she accepted it or not. It was time to put that being me and look to the new path before me.

The next day, yanking and pulling boxes and tape had left me a hot mess. I threw my hair up in a messy bun and was wearing one of Jamie’s old sweatshirts. His smell clung to it and now to me. It irrationally made me miss him, even though I would see him in an hour or so. Not to mention I was spending the rest of my life with him.

A knock at the door made me jump a few moments later. My brows furrowed as I thought who it could be. Perhaps a neighbor needing something.

Groaning, I got up off the floor and unlocked the door.

My breath came short and I knew my eyes most likely were bugging out as I stared at the man in the threshold.

Frank.

Had I not had enough drama with exes this week?

Nervously, he took his hat from his had and held it tightly with both hands in front of him.

“Claire,” he said tentatively, but soft with an undertone I didn’t understand.

I took a moment to notice him before speaking, half from curiosity and half from shock. I hadn’t seen him in over a year when the divorce was finalized. The day he begged me on his knees not to leave him and swear to support me in whatever way I needed. But I knew deep down he could never understand me and that it was better for him to have a clean break than to suffer more.

“Frank? What…what are you doing here?”

He cleared his throat while starting intently into my eyes. It unnerved me, but then again, he always had, ever since I had first met him when he was a TA for my uncle. I had been swept away by his knowledge and good looks, he had made me nervous. Not anymore, though.

He opened his mouth and then closed it. This repeated a few times before he spoke.

“I- I tried calling, but every time you answered, I couldn’t seem to find the words.”

Realization came over me at the annoying calls I had kept receiving, it had been him. I racked my brain as to what to say to him, but it was blank. I had nothing to say.

“I saw you on the tube, on the way home from your school. And then when you answered and you thought it was another man. Your boyfriend. I didn’t have the courage to seek you out.”

Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply to try and clear my head. “So, what made you come today?”

“You’re moving.” He stated it as a fact and gazed into the flat to where boxes and tape were scattered everywhere. That intuitive gaze also lingered on the sweatshirt I was wearing before he looked quickly away.

“Yes, to Scotland. With said boyfriend,” I leaned against the door, unwilling to invite him in. Not wanting him anywhere near our little sanctuary. “Well, now fiancé.”

He winced and looked down again. But I was in no mood. This man had broken my heart and tried to throw away my dreams of the future. He made me feel guilty for not getting pregnant as soon as he had wanted kids and never, ever made an effort to fix what was wrong until it was too late.

“I see,” he hesitated for a second before reaching out to grab my hand. Immediately, I yanked it away.

Anger flashed in his eyes. A sight that was so familiar, it brought wrath to my mind. All those days I had to put up with that. But I wouldn’t now, not with the strength Jamie’s love had given me.

“Say what you came to say and then leave.”

My voice was hard and cold. And I could tell it rattled him.

He nodded, his light brown eyes full of anguish. “Claire, I still love you and I came here with the hopes of making things right between us. But I can see you want no part of that and I understand. I just hope one day you don’t look back and regret these choices you are making. Have long have you even know your fiancé? It will never last.”

My vision tined red at this. Talking like I was a foolish child. I stepped closer to him so we were nose to nose and he could feel the anger vibrating off me.

“Listen to me,” I seethed at him. “Jamie is the love of my life and he has supported me in every way possible, in all the ways you never did. And I love him more than I ever thought I could love someone.”

Shaking my head, I stepped back as he tried to reach out again.

“Claire, I did love you,” he said softly and his voice broke off at the end, full of emotion.

I nodded to myself. “I know. I loved you, too at one point. Just not enough.”

He bit his lip hard and smiled tightly at me. “Goodbye, Claire. I truly hope you end up happy and not heartbroken.”

The slight condensation in his voice made my fists clench in anger. “Goodbye, Frank. Forever.”

And then, I both literally and metaphorically closed the door on the past.

Jamie had come home about 15 minutes after Frank had left. He was slightly shocked when I had told him about everything over the Mexican take out he had brought home, but made me forget everything after he took me to bed. He loved me slowly and overwhelmed me with security in his arms.

We are relaxing in the dark a few hours later when a pestering thought made me speak after a long period of comfortable silence.

“Jamie,” I whispered in the dark as we twined our fingers together on his chest.

“Aye?” He said softly, as if we knew the world would intrude if we spoke too loud.

“Do you want children?”

I knew he did, we had talked before, but I hadn’t told him everything. Not everything from Frank and our life together. Seeing him earlier had brought that reality to the forefront of my mind.

“Yes…I thought ye did as well.”

I could hear hesitation in his voice. Perhaps, he was afraid that my mind had changed. My face was buried in his warm shoulder, which was tightening a bit.

“I do, Jamie. But I haven’t told you everything and it may change your mind.”

Jamie sat up abruptly and reach over to turn on the lamp. The room lite up and I shut my eyes tightly. Not only to escape the light, but to escape his gaze. My hair fell around my face as a shield.

His large hands pushed the hair behind my back and titled my chin to look at him. His eyes were clear and honest.

He spoke very firmly and clearly. “Claire, nothing in this world could every take me from you. Nothing will ever change my mind. You could sleep with the entire British army and I would still love you.”

Warmth spread throughout my body at the words. Trust in us, I told myself and everything will turn out ok.

I glanced up to watch his face carefully as I spoke. “I’m not sure if I can have children,” the words came out as a painful whisper, but his eyes didn’t react.

His thumb brushed my cheek gently. “What makes ye think so?”

Slowly, I released the breath I had been holding. He was solid and reassuring, which made me feel like I could confess to murder and still feel safe.

“I tried with…Frank. Seeing him today made me think of it. He wanted children and we tried for almost a year, but nothing.”

Silence. I fiddled with my fingers as he took in what I was saying. The ticking of the clock had never sounded so loud among the quiet, but I held my tongue. His heart beat under my hand was steady though and the even the feel of it calmed me. The heat of his hand burned through my skin as as he cupped my cheek.

“Claire, it doesna signify,” his words kissed my lips, barley touching. “Just because ye tried once for less than a year doesn’t mean ye can’t have bairns.”

My nose rubbed against his own as my eyes slid shut in both relief and the overwhelming feeling of being cherished.

“And even if we find out that we can’t have our own children, there are so many that need good homes.”

A tear escaped the corner of my eye despite my efforts to keep it in. I opened my eyes and I could see the whites of his in the darkness. His forehead leaned against mine as we held each other.

“We will make our own family, mo nighean donn. And as long as I am with you, all is right in the world.”

I melted into him as I snuggled closer to kiss the side of his neck.

“Starting tomorrow,” I mumbled into his warm, salty skin.

“Aye, tomorrow,” I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke into the night. “Tomorrow, when ye will finally be my wife.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, here it is at last! I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter. It is the ending of part one of this story and probably one of the last linear chapters. There will be more of these two, never fear! Also it’s nsfw in the last part. And it’s Jamie’s pov! Wooo. Let me know what you think and enjoy!

The landscape of Scotland had never looked brighter. The rolling, majestic mountains seemed something from a movie. The vibrant colors of the hillside glistened in the sun and the snow atop them was like white velvet. Alba had always had a magic about the country, a special something that took the breath away of everyone who saw her.

But there was something that made the air all the sweeter and the skies bluer now. And Jamie knew exactly what is was.

He took his eyes off the road for a moment to gaze at her. His wife. Finally.

Her dark brown hair was blowing in every direction as the wind ran through through it from the open window of the car. The yellow sunlight set off all the colors in the mass of curl tumbling around. He saw the light strands running along with the darker ones, dancing in a hypnotic motion that never failed to enchant him.

The ivory skin of her neck was visible from her blue, deep V-neck shirt. The dark blue making her skin look like peaches and cream, sweet and soft. How he wanted to worship every inch of that opal skin over and over again for the rest of his time on earth.

And then as she sensed his gaze, as she sensed so many things about him, her eyes turned to look at him. Those eyes that had bewitched him from the start. The whiskey colored eyes that were fierce as a hawk but tender as the night sky. Eyes he wanted to look into for the rest of time.

She smiled at him as she felt his gaze, her face soft and excited as they drove into their new future, their new life together. Jamie remember the same look as he saw her the first time the day of their wedding.

 

 

Murtagh clasped his rough hand hard on Jamie’s knee, which had been bouncing up and down like a jack rabbit. They were standing in the empty kitchen of Claire’s flat. The walls were barren and the boxes gone, packed away in the moving van they were driving to Scotland in a few days.

 

For a couple nights, they would stay in a romantic cottage Jamie had found, away from the city and away from anything that could possibly distract them for each other. A isolated place in the world in the wild country side to just soak each other in.

 

“Keep yer calm, lad,” his Godfather said with an exasperated look. “She will be out in a moment. Ye can go a few minutes without her.”

 

Jamie rolled his eyes, but tried at least to stop his tapping. They were going down to city hall in but an hour to become man and wife. He was going to marry the love of his life at last. After so much trouble and so much to overcome, they were finally going to be joined offically. He felt it hard to believe it had only been four months since she had come into his life.

 

In his pocket, he felt the reassuring wait of his mother’s pearls that he planned to give to Claire as soon as she appeared to him. The thought of putting the gems around her elegant neck made him shiver with pleasure.

 

But there was that overwhelming moment of grief that took his breath away at the thought of his parents. The beauty of the future dimmed a little at the thought of those who will be unable to share it.

 

Jamie hadn’t put too much thought into his wedding when he was a lad, but he had always thought that he would marry a Scottish girl and have a small wedding at Lallybroch. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

Now, on the eve of marrying a Sassenach and going down to city hall, he couldn’t help but picture a different image.

 

One where Claire walked down an aisle to him made out of the grass and flowers of his land. He saw his mother and father beaming with pride as they watched their son marry at the home they had built together. He saw Jenny sitting with Willie, his brother long passed, and felt another pang of grief at his complicated relationship with one of the only family members he had left.

 

Jamie could almost feel the wind against his skin and the leaves crunching under his feet as he shut his eyes. The feeling was overwhelming and he fought the tears back as he waited for his bride.

 

Bittersweet, he believed was an appropriate word for today. For in a few hours, he would marry his soul mate and the future mother of his children, who he loved more the universe. But it would be without his family by his side and without Claire’s. But perhaps, they would be there with him.

 

For he was a walking legacy of the story his parents had written when they eloped so many years ago. The pressure of the pearls against his hand was the reassuring pat of his mother’s hand he had felt so many times as a boy.

 

“Jaime,” Murtagh jabbed him with his elbow, interrupting his thoughts as there was a creek of the bathroom door.

 

As Claire peeked out of the door and his eyes met hers, he almost felt dizzy, as if his eyes were seeing something so magnificent, his mind couldn’t truly comprehend it at once.

 

Her face glowed and was flushed pink with pleasure at the most likely idiotic face he was making. Slowly, she stepped out of the shadow of the door and revealed a beautiful and simple white dress.

 

It fit her body like a glove, ivory wrapped around ivory with details of lace here and there. A bit taller because of the tan wedges, she was stunning.

 

And he couldn’t manage a word. Cocking one eyebrow, she walked towards him with a smile and he dimly noticed Murtagh had left to go out in the hall.

 

Twirling her way to him, he watched, bewitched, as her dress floated back around her like a cloud.

 

“You,” he croaked, “You are so beautiful, Claire.”

 

His voice was cracked with emotion and her eyes grew tender as she watched him. A hand as elegant as marble reached to cup his face, “You look mighty fine yourself, soldier.”

 

Smiling, he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, “ready?”

 

Her sparkling golden eyes opened to his, light with love and excitement that he knew she saw in his. “Let’s go.”

 

 

“What are you thinking about?”

Jamie smiled like a man who had just won the lottery and he supposed in one way, he had.

“You,” he teased with a quick smile in her direction while keeping a careful eye on the winding roads.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, her warm breath causing him to break out in goose bumps. Her full lips lingered on his skin, brushing back and forth.

“Anything in particular?”

He jumped as her teeth bit into his earlobe. “The way ye looked at our wedding.”

“Oh, well, don’t let me interrupt,” she said and smiled, pleased with herself, as she sat back into her seat, crossing her long legs. Legs he wanted wrapped around his waist as soon as they got to the inn they would stay at tonight. He could still feel those heels digging into his arse from the nights previous.

 

 

The whole day seemed something from a dream. Jamie desperately tried to take in every detail of every minute of this day that would forever be engraved in his mind. A day they would tell their children about and a day they would celebrate until they left this earth.

 

It was a day to never be forgotten and Jamie knew that. His life, her life would forever be changed and twined into an unbreakable string. A string formed of iron and forged with enough power to overcome anything.

 

And so he so desperately tried to take a mental picture. The way the morning light made her eyes look like pure honey and cast a candle like glow on her face. The way her hands felt in his as the Justice of Peace stood in front of them finally. The glimmer of the pearls against her bonny skin.

 

The way her lips mouthed the words I love you as the justice read monotonously to them. The flickering light that blinked over them, the smell of spring from the air freshener in the office, the fuzzy carpet under his shoes.

 

But in the end, all he needed to remember was they way she looked at him and the way her eyes melted as he looked back at her the same way.

 

“I do,” she said reverently and carefully as if those were the most important words she had ever spoken and ever would speak.

 

Jamie gave up trying to hold back the tear that was forming in his eye and let it roll down his cheek in the rawness of the moment.

 

Claire’s eyes got glassy at the sight and she bit her bottom lip as it trembled and she reached up to brush the tear away.

 

“I do,” he said back to her, his voice full of love and passion.

 

And then he slipped the wee sliver ring – his mother’s wedding ring- onto her ring finger. A band that was symbolic of so much. So much history, so much love.

 

Claire didn’t want an engagement ring, but something simple and elegant. Jamie had immediately known that it was the right choice. He had had it since he went to the middle east for the first time.

 

His father had clasped him on the shoulder the day before he left and gave him the ring.

 

“This is not only for a lass that ye will cherish and love one day,” his father had said gruffly. “It will serve now to remind ye of home. Of us. No matter how far ye go, we’ll always be with ye. And that yer mother will be minding you for us.”

 

And she did. And so was his father as he watched the light reflect off the polished silver on Claire’s hand.

 

Her wee fingers then firmly smoothed his own ring onto his finger. A simple band to match hers.

 

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

 

Jamie barely heard the older man’s voice as he cupped Claire’s face as if she was as delicate as the flowers that she held and kissed his wife for the first time.

Jamie grabbed her hand and kissed the band that would never leave her finger. He glanced in the rear view mirror to see Murtagh in the car behind them. Faithful as ever. And one of the main reasons that helped him make peace with the decision to move back home and to try and mend his relationship with Jenny.

He and his sister still hadn’t spoken since his father’s death. There was an empty space in his heart missing and he knew he would have to mend it. It gave him comfort to know that when the time came to revisit the past, he would have his wife and Godfather by his side.

The rumblings from the uncomfortable justice didn’t interrupt their kiss, but when Murtagh patted Jamie on the back with an excited and proud hum, their embrace broke apart.

 

Jamie turned to see Murtagh with a smile – bigger than Jamie had ever seen on him – and his heart swelled.

 

Murtagh came and wrapped them both in a big hug. The ole sap.

 

“Congratulations,” he mumbled as he stepped back a bit self-consciously, clearly overtaken by the moment. 

 

Claire stepped and kissed his red cheek. “Thank you.”

 

Jamie laughed and wrapped his arm around his wife and the other around Murtagh. And he thanked God for his family and all the love that he had been given in his life. He felt the ghost of his parents and brother wrap their arms around the three of them.

 

 

“How much longer, solider?”

He glanced down at his phone attached to the dashboard. “About another 40 minutes until the inn ye found online.”

“Hmm,” she shut the medical book she had been browsing and squinted into the setting sun in front of them.

She placed the book back in the bag on the floor and leaned her head against his arm, wrapping her arm around his bicep. The gentle scratches of her nails made him shiver in excitement. Those fingernails were vivid in his memory of their wedding night.

 

 

“Ach! Christ, woman!” He panted. “Are ye trying to kill me?”

 

The vibrations of her laugh tickled his sensitive skin. Those leopard eyes snapped back to his as quick as a snake and flashed those white teeth that just bit into the inside of his thigh.

 

“I’m just exploring, husband,” she purred. Her nose brushed against him and he shivered in anticipation.

 

“I do believe that ye have explored there before, wife.”

 

His eyes closed in bliss as he felt the heat of her mouth. “Well, I didn’t have a thorough enough inspection.”

 

“Ugkk,” he moaned as she wrapped her lips around him, centering him. It wasn’t the first time she’d done this, but it was the first time as his wife. And that feeing only added to the pulsing pleasure that rained through his veins.

 

He moved his hands to wrap in her curls. “Oh, Claire,” he breathed.

 

And when he moved inside her for the first time that night, Jamie felt like was divine. His hips moved slowly against hers and he felt her quivering from the inside.

 

The tips of her breasts brushed his chest and her mouth was glued to his own. Their breath mingling together, making it seem like they were giving each other life. Her wee noises made him harder inside of her and he couldn’t help but groan into her mouth in response.

 

“Jamie,” she sighed into him, closing her eyes as she was overcome with sensation.

 

He slowed his rhythm as he brushed a stray hair from her sweaty forehead. It was another image he never wanted to forget. His wife come undone, a sight no one would ever see but him from this point on.

 

His body tensed as the feeling of her starting to overwhelm him. Leaning his forehead against her, nose to nose, her whispered to her how much he loved her. And when she let go, he fell with her.

 

 

Jamie picked up her other hand and kissed the inside of her palm while keeping a firm hand on the wheel. A thought came to him suddenly as he watched his first sunset back in his country.

“Ye know what, mo nighean donn?”

She kissed his ring in response, “what’s that?”

“You’re a Sassenach now.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Future take. A little angsty.

Jamie’s heart thudded as he ran past the cars and pedestrians on the street that were blocking his way to where he needed to be. The roads were wet and reflected the busy streets of Edinburgh. The fresh smell of rain was strong in the air as he turned the corner to the little antique shop he was heading to.

He and Claire had wandered in a few weeks ago in search for a birthday present for Murtagh. They had been looking for something from one of Scotland’s risings as Murtagh had a deep passion for learning all about his predecessors’ fight. They both had wanted to do something nice for the man who had done so much for them. 

When they first moved to Edinburgh, the flat they had rented ended up being invested with mold and was deemed unlivable. Murtagh had given them a place to say while they got settled and had been such a reassuring presence in their lives together. But Jamie hadn’t been surprised, Murtagh would always be there.

While they held hands, browsing through the old furniture and trinkets, Claire’s eyes drooping as she had just finished her first graveyard shift at her residency, one item had caught his eye.

A beautiful, silver hairbrush, craved with thistles all on the back. The attention to detail was what made Jamie notice it. It looked like something a princess would have used. Jamie immediately saw Claire in it. It stood out from the crowd, unique and proud. And it would match her ring. 

Before they had left, Jamie asked the salesman to put it away for him to pick up later. It would make the perfect anniversary present, which is why Jamie was running through the streets to make it in time before they closed. 

It was their third anniversary tonight and he needed to get the brush and pick up their dinner before she got home. He hoped she had a good day at the hospital, her assigned doctor could be incredibly rude and brash with Claire and it always put her in a bad mood.

Jamie burst into the store to met the owner’s disapproving gaze at his lateness, but promptly paid for the silver brush and was on his way.

When he got home to their flat, he ran his fingers over the shiny brush, feeling all the marks from the engravings. He smiled when he thought about Claire using it tonight as she readied for bed. A small pang came over him when he realized what the brush also reminded him of, but he pushed it aside.

A few hours later, when the brush was wrapped with a red bow, the table set for two, candles lit and the Italian he ordered for them set out, everything was finally ready for Claire’s return.

Jamie anxiously tapped his fingers on the table until he heard footsteps in the hall and then the key jiggle into the lock.

He jumped up to greet her at the door just as it opened.

The first thing he noticed was the tear streaks and the puffiness of her eyes. Oh no, a bad day then.

“Claire, love? Are you alright?”

Her eyes flickered up to his, curls askew in her messy bun, scrubs wet from the rain and bloodshot eyes, which shot up to his without emotion.

“Fine. I am going to shower,” she pushed past him with her eyes cast downward and threw her bag and keys on the side table before scampering into their bedroom.

Jamie stood by the door with what must have been a amusing look on his face to a bystander. His brows drawn together and mouth still open. It certainly wasn’t the greeting he expected on their anniversary, but perhaps she had lost patient a today, she always took it hard.

He crept towards the bedroom door, listening for her. He heard the shower start up and sighed a little. He toyed with the idea of joining her, unsure if it would make things better or worse.

Well, it was their anniversary after all.

Jamie shrugged out of his clothes and gently eased the bathroom door open and blinked against the steam. She must have it scalding hot.

He gently reached in and turned down the dial on the shower a notch before stepping in behind her. The back of her was pink from the hot water, but it was the way he found her to be more alarming.

Her head was forehead down on the shower wall, palms pressed flat against the tile as if she wanted to push her way through. Her shoulders trembled a little and he couldn’t stand to see her like this.

Jamie gently reached out and touched her back. She jumped in surprised and whirled around to face him, her whiskey eyes as red as her back. 

“What are you..?” 

“Come here, Sassenach,” he commanded and eased her into his arms, protecting her from the hot water and whatever was ailing her. At first she was stiff as a board in his arms, but as soon as he leaned down and kissed her forehead, she melted into him, reliving herself of whatever emotions were running free inside her. 

She clutched onto him hard and shook from her tears. Jamie willed his own body to behave and to hope she didn’t feel him stirring against her. Though, he was upset seeing her this way, he was afraid his male anatomy was only responding to the sight of his wet, naked wife.

After awhile, Jamie could feel the water turning colder and grabbed the shampoo bottle before the hot water ran out.

He gently coated her long hair, rubbing her head until she almost purred against him.

“Feel good?” he asked, while letting the water rinse the studs out of her thick curls.

“Yes,” she mumbled against his chest, unwilling to let go.

“Good,” he kissed her head and repeated the process with her conditioner until she was clean of the hospital and smelled as fresh as a daisy.

Jamie shut off the shower and reached for her robe that was hanging outside on the rail. He gently wrapped her up in the fluffy white cloth that they had gotten as a wedding gift and picked her up and carried her to bed.

His heart broke a little at how small she looked in that moment, sitting on the edge of the bed, encased in white.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked with a tentative voice, afraid he might set her crying off again.

She was silent for a moment, staring at the carpet as if it had the mysteries of the universe written on it. 

“I had to work in the maternity rotation today,” she said softly with her eyes downcast, arms wrapped around herself.

“Ah,” Jamie said quietly, thinking for a moment of what was the best way to comfort her.

The reminder must have been painful for her. A little after their first anniversary, Claire had discovered that she was pregnant. They hadn’t been trying for a child, but did nothing to prevent one either. Claire was finishing up medical school and he was busy setting up his PTSD support group. All the while they were learning the dynamic of a new city and a new marriage. They had agreed to wait until Claire got out of medical school before actively trying for a baby.

Claire had been a little intimidated, but otherwise thrilled with the news. She never thought she could have children. She had told him by presenting a little silver rattle in bed one night and he thought he would burst from joy.

They had gone to the doctor and heard the heartbeat. Six weeks and no more than a smudge of something on the screen, but it had been there. It was their baby. When Claire heard the sound echoing in the room, she had wept tears of joy with him. 

But their happiness had come too early. 

Claire came home after a long day in school complaining of back pain and cramps. Jamie had been worried and wanted to go see the doctor, but Claire assured him it was fine. So, he had done all he could do, give her a massage, aspirin and love.

That night, he woke from Claire’s whimpers of pain and a pool of blood on the sheets.

Claire had blamed herself for the miscarriage. She said she had worked too hard and not rested when she had been told to. She didn’t go to class for weeks and stayed in bed for a large majority of that, convinced she would never be able to bear children. 

Jamie was useless, nothing he could say would help her and felt like a failure of a husband. It was the first true test of their marriage. They had been through challenges before, but nothing compared to the feeling of a lost life.

Jamie comforted her the only way he knew. He loved her and cherished her and got her doctor to tell her nothing could have been done and that she would be able to have a child someday if she wanted.

The knowledge had comforted them and Claire slowly came back to herself.

But standing in front of him now, the pain was still sometimes fresh.

“Claire…,” he wrapped his arms around her tightly and made sure all her pieces stayed together this time. 

“I know, I know. It’s silly to be jealous of those mothers,” she bit her bottom lip as she finally looked at him, showing him all the hope and despair in one look. “It’s just around the time of year that…well, you know.”

“Aye, I know. Did ye think I had forgotten?”

“No,” she said quickly. “I know it was hard for you, too.”

“Mo nighean, do ye want to try again?”

Her eyes flickered up to his, for a moment unreadable to him. The long, dark lashes casts shadows onto her cheeks as she hesitated.

“Well, we never tried in the first place, it was a surprise,” she mumbled while getting up to brush out her hair.

Jamie thought briefly about getting his present, but thought it wasn’t the best time.

“Aye, that’s true enough,” he agreed while standing to lean against the bathroom door again.

She did this when she was musing something that she hadn’t reached a decision on. Jamie thought it was why she would make a brilliant doctor. When her mind was busy and she needed to think, Claire would keep her hands busy and clear the space of her mind of anything but the task in front of her. When she was done, she usually had more clarity about a given situation.

She had come home many a time having made a decision in the mindless hours of nothing but healing with her hands.

And so as she put her brush down after a few moments of silence, taking a deep breath as she looked into the mirror, she finally turned to him. 

“Are you sure this is the right time, I don—“

“I want to do whatever makes you happy,” he cut her off before she could talk herself out of it, luring her back into his arms again, smelling the vanilla in her hair from the shampoo.

“You are the one who will have to carry the child…it should be up to you,” he spoke into the cloud of her hair, stroking the wet locks.

“I think I want to try again…I know…I know how hard it will be with my residency and your group but,” he cut her off with a kiss, enjoying the warmth of her for a moment before answering. 

“I can’t wait until ye get fat and have swollen ankles,” he said with a smile and twinkling eyes.

She laughed and hugged him tighter. “I love you,” she whispered, so soft he barely heard it.

Warmth flooded through him at those words. She didn’t say them often, but rather showed him with every touch and smile. Still, hearing the words always made his marvel at the fact that she did love him.

“And I you, Claire,” he kissed her again and pulled back a little, seeing her closed eyes and small smile.

“I got ye a present,” he moved to the closet where he had wrapped the small gift.

“Jamie! We said no presents!”

He smiled at her face, eyes wide and lips frowned. “Yes and I was going to follow it, but I saw this in the antique shop and I knew I had to get it for ye,” he gently handed her the silver wrapped gift and she eyed it with caution.

“You should have let me get you something,” she grumbled as she accepted the gift, tearing open the wrappings.

“Next year, love,” he laughed as she pulled out the brush with wide eyes.

“Oh, Jamie…” she spoke, her eyes misty as she ran her fingers down the silver handle, marveling at the detail as he did.

“It’s a gift for me as well. I love to watch ye brush your hair before bed,” he kissed the hand not holding the brush.

“The thistles match your ring and also the wee rattle,” he said softly.

The tears she had been holding back flowed over finally and she set the brush down and jumped into his arms as he caught her just in time, cradling her against his chest.

“Happy anniversary,” she said as she kissed the spot just under his chin that made him shiver, which made him think if he should even bother heating up their dinner or taking her straight to bed.

“Happy anniversary, Sassenach.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from @limax25: First of all, LS is one of my favorite stories EVER. And that’s saying something. So well done you! I was wondering how and why Jamie found himself up on that rooftop the night he met Claire and if she ever asked him about it.

“Jamie?”

“Hmm,” he hummed against her damp neck, kissing a drop of water away.

They were snug in the small tub at Murtagh’s flat. The air was heavy with steam and the vanilla candles Claire had bought were scattered around the room, giving it a nice romantic feel. His legs were bent and toes smashed at the end of the porcelain. Claire fit snugly in between his thighs, her own toes just reaching the end of the tub. He buried his nose in the nest of curls atop her head while their fingers played together, twined tightly.

Murtagh had been so kind as to let the (semi) newlyweds have the flat to themselves for the weekend while he made the excuse of visiting friends in Glasgow. 

Jamie had gotten the news yesterday that their now mold-free flat would be ready at the end of next week. Tonight was a celebration of sorts.

“You never told me why you were up on the rooftop the night we met.”

“No?”

“No, I think I would remember,” she teased, her eyes glowing in the candlelight and vanilla air. 

He cleared his throat in preparation for the story and she snuggled back under his chin.

“Ach, well, it was after a long night at the bar and I needed to clear my head, ye ken?”

 

 

Jamie took a big gulp of air as he finally opened the door to the roof. It finally felt like he could breath again. Too much time in the city wasn’t good for his mental health. He missed green things. He missed open landscapes with no buildings but land as far as they eye could see. He missed home.

Jamie knew it was ridiculous, but he felt some sort of comfort when he looked past the lights of London and to the north. It was the way home.

It had become somewhat of a habit for him to go up on the rooftop. The bar he worked at to fill up his time was right across the street. And it was one night that he just walked in, took the elevator and found his way. Perhaps not the most legal thing, but he wasn’t bothering anyone. The roof was always empty. He found that no one noticed him slipping in after dark and he cherished his private retreat. A home away from home in a way.

Jamie felt a stab of pain in his chest thinking about how that home was so changed since the last time he had been there and the humiliation of not being able to muster up the courage to go back.

The thought of seeing his father’s grave filled him with so many emotions, he had to clutch the knob of the rooftop door to keep himself steady.

He was about to turn around and go back when he heard a noise. A sniffle? 

Jamie squinted in front of him in the dark to see a figure standing by the edge of the building, clutching the cement for dear life and the force of their sobs shaking their whole body.

Christ, were they going to jump?

A gust of wind came around him and the stranger and he noticed that thick brown hair twirled around the person. A lass, then.

He struggled for a moment, thinking the best way to approach her if she was thinking about jumping. Should he just run up and grab her while she isn’t expecting it? Or just talk to her?

Well, if she isn’t suicidal, she’ll think ye one draftie if ye run up and grab her, he thought to himself.

He tentatively took one step towards her and spoke softly, “excuse me, lass?”

She jumped about a foot in the air when she heard his voice, causing him to panic even more. The lass turned to face him and even in the dark, he could see her red face, wet with tears. Another pain struck his chest like a lightening bolt, but this time, it wasn’t from pain.

She wiped her blazer’s sleeve across her face, trying to hide her discomfort.

“I’m sorry. I thought…I didn’t realize anyone else was up here.”

Calculating his next move, he carefully edged a few feet closer to her. He didn’t think she was going to jump, but he still couldn’t be sure.

“I come up here sometimes to clear my head. It’s peaceful, ye ken?” He spoke in the most soothing voice he could muster, but what did he know about comforting distraught lassies?

A few feet more now, she was almost in reaching distance. He read her face carefully, but saw nothing but simply curiosity towards him, not alarm. Good.

“My name is Jamie,” he said with a smile, reaching his hand out to her, slowly.

She stared blankly at him and his hand for a moment until a flash of comprehension and then horror washed across her face.

“Oh, I wasn’t going to…” she waved her hand out towards the city and the ledge, “I wasn’t thinking about jumping, I just needed air.”

Her voice broke on her last sentence and he could see the silver tears beginning to flow down her face again. She turned slightly away from him to hide them. 

Jamie felt something inside him, deep and powerful, as he saw her crying. It was an emotion that he didn’t recognize at first because he had never felt it in this way before. Something he couldn’t understanding feeling for a stranger he had just met not but a few minutes ago.

But all the sudden she was in his arms. He wrapped his arms tight around her, as if to protect her from the pain she felt. To protect her from feeling that isolating feeling he intuitively knew she was crying about because it was all too familiar.

She melted into his arms and she fit like she was made for him. Her brown curls tickled his nose as he whispered Gaelic into her ears while she cried into his chest.

She wrapped her hands tight around his body and suddenly home didn’t seem so far anymore.

 

 

“That’s when I first kent I loved ye,” he whispered into her ear, coming back to the present as the story ended, brushing away a few stray bubbles from her chin. 

“Oh, Jamie,” she whispered, turning around to look at his face. “Oh, I do love you.”

He leaned forward to met her lips, running his tongue across her bottom lip, cherishing her taste.

She pulled back and wrapped her legs around his hips, making the water ripple around them and the candles on the edge flicker in the dimness.

“Turns out that when I needed home the most, home is what showed up,” he tapped her one the nose, making her giggle.

Her eyes filled with tears, but tears so different than the night they met, and he knew exactly what she felt inside. A feeling that words fail to ever describe.

“I ken, Sassenach,” he said softly as she wrapped herself around him in a promise that he echoed. To never let her go. “I ken.”


End file.
